I Love My Wife
If you look over at my categories–go ahead, take a look–you’ll notice that the categories with only 1 post are financial goals, baking, and my wife (well, 2 for Wife after this post). Based on that, you might infer that I have very little to say about those topics.
Financial goals in my home are simple: try to make it through each month without saying, “There’s so much month left at the end of the money.” Ok, that statement is facetious. We do set goals to be good stewards of our finances and resources, but beyond that, there hasn’t been much to say about financial goals.
As I wrote previously, I dislike baking. Recipes are often far too exacting, there’s a ton of dishes to do, and there’s no such thing as portion control when you bake – I mean, who bakes 2 muffins?! Nobody, that’s who. Baking always results in a 9 x 13 cake or 12 muffins. Thankfully, my wife likes baking so I still get to enjoy eating a muffin a day for a week.
Unlike financial goals and baking, I actually have a lot to say about my wife. In fact, being the best dad I can be requires me to be the best husband I can be. If you read mom and dad blogs, the spouse usually has no idea about the blog or they prefer to remain in anonymity and often threaten the blogger, “YOU BETTER NOT BLOG ABOUT THIS!” rarely gets mentioned. While I do see many parents working well as a team, a mom or dad who often feels like they don’t get the support they need from their spouses is not uncommon. For me, nothing could be further from the truth
I wouldn’t be half the dad nor the man I am if not for my wife. While I love my kids, they’ll eventually leave the house and later on put us in a home take care of us. The Bible says,
3 Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, the fruit of the womb is a reward.
4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth.
5 How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; they will not be ashamed When they speak with their enemies in the gate. – Psalm 127
So D1 and D2 (and any future kids God blesses us with) are arrows. Arrows don’t serve their function if they are held in the quiver – they are meant to be let go. The Bible says, “How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them,” not, “How blessed is the man whose quiver continues to be full of them.” In fact, with many families these days, it seems kids are boomerangs: parents send them out at 18, they graduate in 6 years, and then fly back home, usually rent-free, and play PS3 or World of Warcraft, and watch South Park and MMA pay-per-views in their parents’ basement.
I may come to regret these words when D1 is 25, moves back home and is dating some deadbeat “entrepreneur” who’s building an exciting start-up company (listen, future kid/bf, as long as you don’t start-up no illegitimate kids, we should be ok. I also just freaked myself out a bit by imagining D1 as being 25) but my kids are off my payroll when they are 18. Hopefully, we’ll continue to have an amicable relationship and they won’t put us in a home will take care of us when we are older. Heck, I’ve been changing their diapers for years; it’s time they changed mine.
While being a dad is very important, I realize I’m only going to be an active dad who is deeply involved in my kid’s lives until they no longer think I’m cool become adults. My wife, on the other hand, I vowed to “have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.” So there’s no one I should be investing in more than my wife. Kids, friends, family, acquaintances, Twitter/Blog friends will come and go; I’m stuck with I have the privilege of being with my wife forever.
So what are some ways I invest in my wife?
First, I spend time/energy/resources on her. They say you can tell what your priorities really are by looking at how you spend your time or reviewing your credit card statements. This means I shouldn’t be spending more time on my blog than my wife, or more time with my iFriend, or all the purchases on our credit card statement shouldn’t be for myself.
Second, I remind myself that I am the head of the household. Now, now, before you get your panties in a bunch, let me explain. The Bible says, “For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.” – Eph 5:23. And often, Christian men will (mis)quote the verse just before that that instructs wives to submit to their husbands. These verses aren’t so much a right as they are a responsibility. I don’t have the right to say, “WOMAN! SUBMIT TO ME!”; I have the responsibility to lead the household. So if my wife is constantly agitated, my kids are on edge and out of control, it’s my fault, not theirs. God holds me responsible for the climate and culture in my home.
Third, I try to have date nights regularly. If you need ideas, Eric over at Better Husbands and Fathers has some great ideas in his series, Date Your Wife. Yes, babysitters are expensive, but once again, this is a woman/man you are going to be with forever. If we can invest $200 in a phone, we can surely invest $20 to have alone time with our spouses.
Fourth, I consult my wife whenever I make any major decisions, especially when it comes to parenting. For example, we often debrief after we discipline D1.
Finally, I dust off the boombox from my childhood, stand outside her window and play “In Your Eyes.”
In conclusion, I love you, wifey. You were, are, and always will be God’s perfect gift for me. You’re my best friend, constant supporter and there’s no one I’d rather grow old with. I pray we’ll be like these couples and celebrate 50, 60, 70 years together. I love you.
What about you? What are some ways you invest in your spouse?