Home > Amusings, Parenting > My Childhood Could Beat Up Your Childhood (Pt. 2)

My Childhood Could Beat Up Your Childhood (Pt. 2)

September 28, 2010 Leave a comment Go to comments

If you missed part 1, click here. I promise it’s a fun read. Here are some more reasons why my childhood could beat up my kids’ childhoods.

Trick-or-Treating

Or as it should be called now: dressing up and going to the mall to get candy, going around the neighborhood to get candy during daylight hours only, or Trick-or-lame. For our first Halloween at our new home 5 years ago, I got tons of candy in preparation because I didn’t want our house to get egged or TPed. I was excited because I got awesome candy bars, and King Size too! None of that Fun Size–which along with Red Delicious are arguably the most misleading names out there–business. Armed with King Size Twix, Kit Kats, and Snickers, I thought ours would be the most popular house on the block. Guess what? I was eating King Sized Twix, Kit Kats, and Snickers for months. I think a grand total of 8 kids came trick-or-treating.

Certain that it was a fluke and wondering if perhaps we accidentally moved into an old people’s active lifestyles community, I called my mom and mother-in-law, both of whom recently moved into new homes, to see how many kids came by and they said the same thing.

Things got worse a few years later. The week of Halloween, we got a flyer from our HOA stating the official neighborhood trick-or-treating hours were from 5-7pm or dusk, whichever comes first. Seriously? Appointed times for trick-or-treating?

Why My Childhood Could Beat Up Your Childhood (WMCCBUYC <–now that’s a ridiculous acronym): Trick-or-treating for me growing up was work. Laborious, yes, but the payout was immense, as there was no way in heck my mother would’ve ever bought me that much candy in an entire year let alone one night. When we were younger, my mom walked around with my sister and I, and we both had the cute little pumpkin pails. I later realized that I could go around my neighborhood several times and most of the neighbors wouldn’t care. So we graduated from the pumpkin pails to a pillow case and later a garbage bag. When we got home, we were a sweaty mess but we gleefully unloaded our loot, picked out the nasty candy (you know, the unlabeled ones that were wrapped in black or orange paper) and went to town until our mom instituted the one candy per day rule. Not only did trick-or-treating teach us the value of hard work, but it taught us to plan ahead. We soon figured out who gave out the best candy and who left out a bowl that said, “Please take one,” and we planned out our route accordingly to maximize our candy collecting.

Bonus WMCCBUYC: Kids today won’t know the joys of saying, “Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat. If you don’t, I don’t care, I’ll pull down your underwear.”

Imagination

I overhear kids moping all the time about being bored. Kid, you have a DVD player in your freakin car – you have no idea what it means to be bored.

WMCCBUYC: Kids today aren’t so much bored as much as they are used to overstimulation and constantly needing something to entertain them. Growing up, all I needed was my imagination. Are those just rocks?! No, they’re spaceships! Is that a stick? No, it’s my ninja sword. Is that the floor of the grocery store? No, it’s lava and the colored tiles are rocks on which I can safely land. I’m pretty sure a kid with an active imagination these days would be sent in for psychiatric help.

And we didn’t need much either. My parents weren’t rich so I had one ninja turtle, 2 GI Joes, and 2 Dick Tracy action figures because they were on clearance. I made an entire series out of those 5 toys that lasted the better part of a year. Today, kids have PS3, Wii, and a channel guide, and yet complain about having nothing to do.

Cereal

I’m all for eating healthy and all about recycling but I don’t think Kashi should be allowed to recycle cardboard boxes, cut them into various shapes, and call it cereal. Growing up, I didn’t eat any cereal that didn’t have the word frosted in its name or frosting wasn’t clearly visible on the cereal. Frosted Flakes, Frosted Lucky Charms, Honey Smacks, etc…the chocolate cereals were my favorite because they not only allowed me to eat chocolate for breakfast, but all the chocolate frosting would turn the white milk into chocolate milk.

WMCCBUYC: Kids today eat Cheerios and other healthy cereals but somehow are still obese. The fat, jiggly butts of my kid’s childhood combined with the sugar highs I’d have after breakfast would allow my childhood to run circles around theirs.

Water Fountains

Like pay phones, water fountains are a dying breed. I flipped off bottled water companies last month because of the insane amounts of waste created.

WMCCBUYC: For one, I never needed to carry bottled water around. If I needed water, a fountain was always nearby or at the very least, a garden hose. But additionally, kids today don’t learn water fountain etiquette: if there’s a line, you’re not allowed to take more than 5 Mississippi’s. Also, kids today probably couldn’t spell Mississippi without a spell check.

Jingles & Theme Songs

Double, double your refreshment…

Whatever it is I think I see, becomes a…

I don’t wanna grow up, I’m a…

Whatever happened to predictability…

When books are what you’re there about and looks are what you care about
the time is right…

Show me that smile again…

Makin’ your way in the world today takes everything you’ve got…

Life is like a hurricane…

Dashing and daring, courageous and caring…

I guarantee most readers of this blog can finish the rest of these jingles and theme songs.

WMCCBUYC: The 80s ended 20 years ago (did I just make you feel old?) and yet I still vividly remember the songs, the visuals, everything. Today, there aren’t very memorable theme songs or jingles – the only recent ones I know are 800-588-2300 Empire! Today! At Eastern Motors, your job’s your credit! and 1800-222-1222 and most TV “themes” are a random song in the background and the title flashes for a few seconds. With Google and Wikipedia, kids today don’t need to memorize stuff. Technology is great and all, but it’s making me dumber. Along with my imagination and memory, I wasn’t anywhere near as reliant on technology as kids are today.

What about you? What do you wish they’d bring back from your childhood? Would your childhood beat up my childhood?

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  1. Pop
    September 28, 2010 at 10:51 am

    Wow. Possibly related posts, FAIL!

    • September 30, 2010 at 4:31 pm

      I had to laugh at your own response to the Possibly Related posts. Also, I really agree with this: “Technology is great and all, but it’s making me dumber.” I used to take pride in my navigation skills and for never getting us lost with a map.

      I don’t think my daughter would know what’s north or south. Or what an atlas is.

  2. September 28, 2010 at 11:20 am

    Every post this entire week should have a Full House reference.

    • Pop
      September 28, 2010 at 2:38 pm

      You got it dude!

  3. September 28, 2010 at 11:34 am

    Ha! The possibly related posts always crack me up.

    On a related note, your mention of the frosted cereal made me think of Saturday morning cartoons. I know those still exist, but so do Sunday morning, and monday morning and every morning and every afternoon, and every night cartoons. So many kids’ networks on tv. I remember Saturday morning was all we had, and if you slept late and missed Muppet Babies, then you were just SOL. They weren’t going to repeat it every day for a week.

    Loved the jingles, theme songs. Brings me way back. It actually gave me a vague memory of a dancing cheese wheel that said something like, “I hanker for a hunk of cheese.” Am I the only one who remembers this?

    • Pop
      September 28, 2010 at 2:39 pm

      SOL is RIGHT! I had Korean school on Saturdays and HATED it because all my friends were talking about Saturday morning cartoons on Monday. Now? You can tweet about all your doing so there’s no anticipation for Monday’s anymore.

  4. September 28, 2010 at 4:13 pm

    You know what’s wonderful about this post? It has triggered so many things to tell my boys about.

    They can’t BELIEVE the things that went on…Like Hershey’s candy bars wrapped in real foil that we’d chew b/c it’d hurt our teeth so much.

    Or the foil strip on the milk cartons that we’d pull off and lay across our teeth and pretend they were braces.

    So much dang fun….

    This was great…Thank you.

    • Pop
      September 29, 2010 at 8:53 am

      LOL! I totally forgot about the braces thing! That’s fantastic!

  5. liz
    September 29, 2010 at 8:52 am

    i remember memorizing a calling card number so i could call home on a pay phone during high school to reach my parents if need be.

    • Pop
      September 29, 2010 at 8:54 am

      That’s impressive! Me? I just dialed 1-800-Collect.

      After the tone, please say your first name:
      *Beep*
      MOMITSMEIMATSCHOOL!

      After the tone, please say your last name:
      *beep*
      PICKMEUPNOWPLEASE!

      *hangup*

      • October 10, 2010 at 11:02 pm

        This made me lol! So true!

  6. September 29, 2010 at 10:49 am

    hahaha I loved this post.

    • Pop
      September 30, 2010 at 1:18 pm

      Thank you! And thanks for stopping by!

  7. September 29, 2010 at 10:52 am

    I loved your description of Kashi and boy do I miss me some frosted flakes. My kids were begging for some the other day because they liked the Tiger on the box. I don’t think they have ever had them. I think I’ll pick up a box the next time I’m at the store and they have you to thank.

    • Pop
      September 30, 2010 at 1:17 pm

      You’re welcome Poppy’s kids!

  8. September 29, 2010 at 11:30 am

    Loved the Kashi description!
    Dana

    • Pop
      September 30, 2010 at 1:18 pm

      Kashi is pretty gross. I’d rather get my fiber through metamucil.

      Thanks for stopping by!

  9. September 29, 2010 at 1:53 pm

    I remember watching the Brady Bunch if we were good on Friday. Sesame Street and the Brady Bunch were the only shows we watched. We played outside.

    • Pop
      September 30, 2010 at 1:19 pm

      Playing outside without parents hovering seems to be a foreign concept these days.

  10. September 29, 2010 at 2:29 pm

    Memories, sweet memories!

    Yes, WMCCBUYC is a totally ridiculous acronym! I’m so calling it Trick-or-Lame now.

    Yep, this will also be on my Sat shout outs!

    • Pop
      September 30, 2010 at 1:21 pm

      So do you have your kids’ trick-or-lame costumes picked out yet?

  11. September 29, 2010 at 3:16 pm

    Smiled the whole time reading this post! I am with you – we moved 10 years ago. At our old house – I easily had 400+ kids come by!

    We moved, I got my 20 quart mixing bowl (yep, I have a 20 quart mixing bowl!) and sat on our deck waiting to hand out my excellent candy – not quite king size, but peanut m&m’s and snickers – no orange and black wrapped nasty candy!

    I had a total of . . . 4 tricker or treaters, and one of them was our daughter! And that year was a record – I didn’t get any last year at all.

    I just remember the last girl who came up the steps – she had about 4 pieces of candy in her pillow case – I told her to open it big – and dumped about 10 bags of candy into that pillow case – the look on her face was priceless!

    As she was walking down our stairs she yelled to her Mom “that lady just gave me all of her candy!”

    Yep, our childhoods kicked ass – and it does make me feel old that the 80s were 20 years ago!

    • Pop
      September 30, 2010 at 1:24 pm

      a little less than 20qts for one girl?!?! I can’t even begin to imagine the excitement on her face–and the horror on her mother’s face.

      And I’m not shocked by the 20qt mixing bowl. Koreans have this massive, well, you can’t even call it a bowl, thing we make kimchi in. But what on earth are you making in a 20qt bowl?

  12. SOS
    September 29, 2010 at 3:18 pm

    WOW! You covered so many things and took be back! You are so right that our childhood kicked ass. The one thing I loved so much that is almost extinct now, except maybe in small towns is playing outside at night. I would have to go home when the street lights came on and I remember being so sad when it was time to go in for dinner. I hardly ever watched tv because I was so busy. Now, it seems that is all kids do is watch tv or play on the computer or whatever is the latest gadget.

    • Pop
      September 30, 2010 at 1:29 pm

      I loved playing when it was dark out – I think my parents loved it too b/c when I got home, I was usually exhausted, took a shower and went straight to bed. Now, when I see kids outside at night, I wonder what those hoodlums are up to.

  13. September 29, 2010 at 9:53 pm

    The freedom to play outside late into the night is one of my favorite things about my childhood that my daughter will never know. That and riding my bike all over town, for my own entertainment, play dates (not that we called them that) and even running errands for my mom.

    And lets not forget rotary dial phones! While I don’t miss them, my kid won’t even know a corded phone!

    BTW, the kids in my neighborhood don’t have Halloween curfews here. We get them after nine, if we don’t turn off the porch light.

    • Pop
      September 30, 2010 at 1:31 pm

      I still remember the day my parents bought a cordless phone. I think that bad boy had 30 minutes of battery life and was about the size of an iPad but I LOVED it.

  14. September 29, 2010 at 11:49 pm

    Ditto…ditto…we only had non-sugar cereal growing up…ditto….ditto. To go back to the cereal, when we went to my grandma’s, she had the little 8 pack of mini boxes that were all the kinds we never got to have – Pops, Frosted Flakes, Fruit Loops, etc. That rocked. At home, we only had Rice Crispies, Corn Flakes and Cheerios. Occasionally we got to have Sugar Crisp. When they came out with Kix, we were so excited because it added another kind to our rotation.

    • Pop
      September 30, 2010 at 1:36 pm

      Blech! Kid tested, mother approved!? I loved those mini boxes – the ones you could pour milk into.

  15. September 30, 2010 at 12:39 am

    You’ll be happy to hear that we’re bringing a taste of your childhood into our household! My four-year old keeps asking us to buy toys that don’t even exist, so now, he’s come up with a brilliant idea. Together we draw his imaginary toy on thick paper, and then cut it out, so he can play with it! He’s discovered he can create dozens of new toys without having to whine to us for buying it. The kid is a smart cookie and my wallet is intact!

    • Pop
      September 30, 2010 at 1:36 pm

      *taking notes*

  16. Kat
    September 30, 2010 at 1:07 pm

    Those are all great things from our childhood. My kids get to experience most of it! We still get to do trick-or-treating the old school way, we get frosted or sugery cereal every other shopping trip, we don’t let them use the computer/watch TV, or play video games all the time, and they are pretty much forced to watch and listen to shows/mucic we enjoy from the good ol’ days sometimes.Lol!

    • Pop
      September 30, 2010 at 1:39 pm

      That’s awesome, Kat! Way to go!

      The funny thing is, my wife sneaks in sugary cereals and somehow D1 ALWAYS walks into the kitchen when she’s trying to sneak a bowl. She tells her that it’s for adults only.

  17. Kat
    September 30, 2010 at 1:08 pm

    OH! And we bring out games like Twister, Clue and monopoly (old version)! 😀

    • Pop
      September 30, 2010 at 1:41 pm

      Old versions are the best! I recently bought Guess Who? and the material was a thin, cheap plastic. Slapping multiple pieces down wasn’t nearly as satisfying.

  18. September 30, 2010 at 2:56 pm

    I do not have lots of joyful memories from my childhood to share, but Halloween?

    My daughters WORK that holiday.

    A few years ago? I took my then 7 and 5 year old daughters trick-or-treating. It was the first year my younger daughter has really appreciated the awesomeness of getting candy from strangers. Yay! And so she was all excited.

    At every house, my little kindergarten daughter would race to be first to the door. And at every house, she would always be the last one in our group of children to come away from the door. Every time.

    I started getting all annoyed at the bigger kids for pushing her out of the way. My poor baby!

    The whole evening went this way. My younger daughter would be first in line and then somehow end up at the back of the pack.

    Sigh.

    Ok, and then we got home.

    And my daughters dumped their candy hauls onto the table for inspection.

    And my younger daughter? She had almost exactly twice as much candy as my older daughter.

    What the hell?

    It turns out?

    She was first in line at every door. And then she went to the back of the line. And she was also the last one at every door.

    She is an evil genius, that one.

    Snort!

    • Pop
      September 30, 2010 at 3:09 pm

      Evil genius is right. She has to rule the playground.

  19. September 30, 2010 at 6:56 pm

    Haha how true….isn’t Halloween about being out at night? It supposed to be “dark and creepy”!

    • Pop
      October 6, 2010 at 10:52 am

      Well now it’s about being “safe and lame”

  20. September 30, 2010 at 10:55 pm

    I am so sad for the Halloween restrictions…LAME!

    • Pop
      October 6, 2010 at 10:53 am

      Me too.

  21. October 1, 2010 at 11:40 am

    I love Halloween! It’s just not as fun as it used to be without the plastic jumpsuit style costumes and the plastic face masks!! They were great… especially when you had to wear your coat over top (I HATED that!).

    The 80’s were great. Even my kids think so! One of my kids favorite channel on XM radio is the 80’s on 8!!

    • Pop
      October 6, 2010 at 10:56 am

      Oh man. I think I was dehydrated after wearing costume made entirely of plastic one year. It was awesome!

  22. October 2, 2010 at 12:22 am

    This was a really great post! I especially like the part about Halloween. Thought I was going crazy when HOA sent around a similar letter. I sat around hiding candy from my husband for months after Halloween year after year so he wouldn’t eat it all at one time. Such a waste of money on my part.

    Stopping by from blogfrog stumble upon group.

    • Pop
      October 6, 2010 at 10:57 am

      Haha. Yeah, my wife had to do the same thing. I later found her stash and I was caught when she noticed some wrappers in the trash can.

  23. October 4, 2010 at 2:45 am

    Oh that rocks, totally! 😀
    My son haven’t experience the real Halloween yet. Maybe this year we’ll go again to the American Club Halloween party like last year.
    Stumble this for ya!

    • Pop
      October 6, 2010 at 10:57 am

      Thanks, Maureen!

  24. Seister
    October 12, 2010 at 4:52 pm

    I remember when the person behind you in the fountain line would start counting ‘1 mississippi… 2 mississippi…’ and you would rush to gulp in as much as you could while shouting, ‘wait! slow down!!’ at the same time 🙂

    • Pop
      October 13, 2010 at 8:24 am

      I’d just go to 7 Mississippi if I felt like they counted too fast

  1. October 6, 2010 at 9:26 am
  2. October 7, 2010 at 11:42 am
  3. February 5, 2013 at 9:37 pm

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