Friday Flip-Offs, 11/7 Pop’s Edition
Lots going on in Pop’s home these days. D2’s teeth are starting to come in and she’s trying to roll over, which is initially exciting, but then you realize it’s no fun b/c she won’t be where you left her when you get back. D1’s nowhere near puberty (actually, she may not be that far off) but she’s already having massive mood swings. My wife and I are contemplating our future with buying/selling a home and contemplating homeschooling, and while exciting, it’s a lot to think and pray about. So you best believe I’ve got stuff to flip off. Let’s get to it.
To certain cops: FLIP OFF! I appreciate cops and all that they do but some cops need to be flipped off. Three times this week, I was stuck in heavy traffic. I then hear a siren from the distance and figure, “Ah, crap. It’s an accident.” So of course, the traffic jam gets worse as all the cars move out of the way so the cop can get through to the scene of the accident to perform their duties. Only thing is, there is no accident, and once the cop is past the traffic, the sirens turn off. *resisting the urge to make a doughnut joke*
To puberty: FLIP OFF! Seriously?! Girls are starting puberty at 7 or 8? 7 or 8 is when The Fresh Prince of Bel Air should pull up to the house; not when I need to deal with 24 cases of PMS per year. Also, I just realized that in about 10 years I will have 3 ladies PMSing at the same time in my home (women do cycle up, right?). Maybe I should look into a bomb shelter as an added feature for our next home?
To getting older: FLIP OFF! I’m still pretty young (emphasis on the pretty, oh so pretty) but I’m exhibiting signs of getting older.
- My calf cramped up while I was stretching before I got out of bed in the morning
- My metabolism is nowhere near what it used to be. Congratulations, Wifey! My love handles are here to stay!
- When I get together with friends, we talk about riveting things like mortgages and home improvements
- Tired is not how I feel; it’s who I am
- I most look forward to weekends where nothing is planned
But I can still hear up to 18kHz on the hearing test (though it isn’t as piercing as it used to be) and I’m not graying, so I guess I’m ok.
To Mike Shanahan: FLIP OFF! Seriously? Rex Grossman gives us the best chance to win?! Who’d you ask for that advice? Steve Spurrier?! And poor conditioning for 2 minutes? Aside from the first time, most men have enough stamina to last two minutes.
To location-based services: FLIP OFF! Maybe this ties in with me getting older, but I’m not a fan of Four Square, Facebook Places and other location-based services. Now a lot of businesses are beginning to offer deals exclusively through those services. That’s all well and good for those who don’t mind giving up certain aspects of their privacy for a free burrito, but I hope this doesn’t mean the end of printing out coupons that were meant for people signed up for an email club that I can mass-print through SlickDeals.
*whew* that feels better. What about you? What in your life deserves to be flipped off today?
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Korean Fried Chicken (12.8.10)
Why, Yes! You MAY grab my button
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Loving this post! Yeah, getting old deserves a flip off. Remember how when you were a kid, you’d wake up on Saturday morning and IMMEDIATELY jump out of bed to watch cartoons?
Yeah, now I’ve gotta spend the first few minutes stretching my legs in deference to my plantar fasciitis, otherwise I hobble to the shower like I’m in my 90s 😦
And my joints make a lot of cracking and popping noises they didn’t make before.
I ain’t greedy, I don’t want to go back to my 20s. Just reset the clock back to age 30 and I’ll be a happy camper 🙂
I don’t do any kind of jumping anymore – not without needing to stretch afterward, anyway.
Funny you should mention Foursquare and the Facebook Places thing: I don’t mind using the services, but I’m also aware of what information I’m giving out to the public, so I proceed with caution. I don’t think a lot of people get that, so they tend to overshare a lot, and then they’re surprised when creepy people are stalking them. If I’m out with friends and don’t mind others joining, I’ll check in. However, if I want a quiet night with an intimate group of friends, I check in after we leave – I respect my privacy and would hope others would do the same!
Thing is: I’m not like other people, so I’m sure my brilliance is only enjoyed by me.
And a big flip-off to Shanahan, too. I’m not even a ‘Skins fan and that move pissed me off!
– P
Not many in DC are as brilliant as you Patrick. Seriously, some people had no idea how sharing their location could affect them.
And I guess I should be happy Shanahan hasn’t pulled down his pants yet, like a certain coach of the 9ers
That cop incident you described definitely deserved a flip off. Talk about abuse of power!
Do you think it’s safe to flip off my own brain? I had nightmares all night. Then I woke up at 5 am and couldn’t get back to sleep. I will be a zombie Mommy all day.
I dunno. Might not be safe to talk about brains if you’re a zombie.
Do you need a hug?
Yes please.
Re: Getting older #3: Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we’re going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don’t know, I don’t know if we’ll have enough time.
I just want to flip off any and all things associated with car wrecks, 1) insurance companies that take FOR-EVER to send an adjuster so I have to pay the 2) tow lot for more days to store my crushed car and 3) rental car companies who tell you your insurance won’t cover it while you’re dealing with an accident and get you to sign up for theirs. Boo.
WOW! What an exciting Saturday! What are you guys going to buy?!?!…I mean, how terribly boring of you.
Ugh. I was worried that’s what would happen. Hope it turns out ok.
When a flip-off can make me laugh I consider it a win. I also like to read them with a yelling voice in my mind! really? 7 or 8?! That is scary!
I am so with you on “tired is not how I feel it’s who I am” I wish I had thought of that line!
That’s a good way to read it b/c that’s how I write it.
No worries – you probably could’ve thought of the line; you were just too tired to type it out.
If you’re LUCKY the girls will cycle at once and not one after the other — imagine that 3 week long time span — ever.single.month. But seriously. The ‘alpha’ female usually leads. 🙂 And my husband is EVER so thankful for that as well, b/c he, too is looking forward to this. Oh, and YES my were wearing Uggs! And Chanel sunglasses, JUICY on their bums, and Gucci jeans w/ their Prada t-shirts. That’s totally ok, right??
I don’t know what’s worse: getting smaller, more frequent beatings, or just one giant beating?
Absolutely. You’re raising them right.
Wait! A free burrito? Where???
http://slickdeals.net/forums/showthread.php?sduid=0&t=2343535
I DID subscribe to comments, yay me! Except….this one didn’t get delivered so maybe I fail? Thank you for posting it to my page as well. I am planning on visiting Chipotle this eve but sadly, I am unable to consume two burritos myself. No deal for me. Sad = me.
Or my blog fails. Huh. Hope you get this one.
Maybe you could use the BOGO to sweeten the deal for the dude who thinks you’re a cat lady?
Nope, didn’t get it. Weirdness.
Hmmm…..he does have a major Chipotle habit, true. But, we haven’t exchanged phone numbers yet. We work together and it’s just this week that we exchanged personal EMAIL addresses. And since he is not quite as tethered to the internet as some people are (like…um…ME!), a spontaneous email invite probably wouldn’t work well. Nice idea though. *grin*
I DO feel better after reading this. You made me snort at least 6 times, which I really needed.
Snorting is always a good thing. And D2 snorts now when she laughs – cutest thing ever!
This week I have to say Flip Off! to the scheduling department at the children’s hospital. The earliest appointment I can get for Thor is July, 2011. I thought it was May, but no, that appointment it seems is just for parents. Really? Really??!! Flip Off.
Flip Off! to the undending pile of crap everyone seems to think needs to be on My desk in My office. Really, that Star Wars action figure is toast if it’s still there at the end of the week. (Well, okay, no, not really, cause I like Star Wars action figures but by god if I find Barbie or her princess wenches in here, that’s it!)
Thank you. As always, I’ll be back for next Friday’s therapy installment.
Scheduling into July?!?! God forbid you actually have an emergency and need to be seen in less than 6 months. Sheesh!
D2 is gonna have some cute toofers!
And yes three women PMSing really will suck.
Also? My daughter got her period at age 10! Yeah. Ugg.
I got a speeding ticket 6 days before my wedding. Then the response date was 11 days later when I was in the hospital with hubs. I think that calls for a double flip off! 🙂
10?!?! So not ready for that!
And totally w/ you on that 2x flip off!
Looks like you guys are enjoying marital bliss!
I don’t care who they use as QB… as long as whoever it is starts connecting more with Santana Moss. Can you tell it’s been a pathetic fantasy football year for me?
And, yeah, I feel for you in a few years. I can’t imagine 3 sets of raging hormones happening concurrently. 1 is bad enough.
A friend of mine got killed by Payton Hillis and Jacoby Ford – this is why I don’t play fantasy football.
Yeah, I’m scared. Not only of the hormones but of buying Costco packs of feminine hygiene products.
Oh, the evil early puberty. I guess it has a lot to do with the hormones in milk and soy isn’t helping either. Time to go organic!! But I think that soy is bad for women no matter if it’s “green” or not. At least bad in the way that it messes with our hormones. It’s touted as a super-food but I’m not so sure it is. Anyway, you’re going to have to deal with the PMS triple-threat eventually but you should try and delay it as long as possible so organic milk and no soy! 😉
Soy, huh? D1 enjoys soy milk. I might need to look into this further.
Wait, puberty at 8?!?! Holy crap!
I don’t understand FourSquare at all, or why people make it such a competition!
Yup! Get ready! Belle might be PMSing Belle soon enough! 😛
I like Twitter, FB and other social media things, but there is such a thing as oversharing.
The puberty thing shocked and saddened me when I heard that years ago from a friend who teaches elementary school. The old age thing? Yeah, it sucks, but it’s better than the alternative. But, putting Rex Grossman in because McNabb can’t handle the hurry-up offense? That was just ridiculous!
Yeah – that means I’ve less than 5 years before D1 hits puberty. SCARY!
And the only thing Rex Grossman gives you a better chance at is getting booed loudest by Chicago fans.
I completely blame you for my inability to get The Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song out of my head. I mean, I like the song, but I might still be forced to seek retribution. I’m viscous like that.
Uh oh. We best not get into a fight b/c I don’t want my momma to get scared.