The Cross and Noogies
My wife and I try to let D1 play without much direct supervision. In fact, on a number of occasions, other parents have chided us for leaving D1 unattended despite playing with my iPhone being in plain view of her. Yesterday was not one of those days, and my wife’s mothering instincts took over.
D1 was upstairs in our church’s kid’s room playing with two older girls. My wife went up to see if D1 had to pee and she noticed her hair was messy, despite having just done it a little while ago. She then heard this conversation between the two older girls:
Older Girl 1: I just gave D1 a noogie!
Older Girl 2: What’s that?
OG1: You just make a fist and you rub it on their head real fast and hard
OG2: Really?
Og1: Yup! It’s really fun! You should go do it to D1!
OG2: YEAH!!!
So my wife sees OG2 sauntering over to D1 and immediately shouts, “STOP!!!” OG1 and OG2 are shocked and stop dead in their tracks. My wife, being the person that she is, makes it a teachable moment and tells the girls how that’s not nice and how she thinks they are nice girls and that nice girls don’t do such things, etc…
My wife and I are all about letting D1 figure out how to deal with obstacles, challenges, and people on her own without our specific guidance, but letting her encounter and overcome difficulty is far different from letting her be abused in our presence. We talked about this later that evening. Did my wife react to harshly? Should she have handled it differently? As my wife and I were talking about this last night, we were hit with this revelation: God didn’t prevent Jesus from getting the noogie to end all noogies.
We’re made in God’s image and in His likeness, and if our natural human reaction is to prevent harm from befalling our children, how difficult it must have been for God to ignore the pleas of His Son in the Garden of Gethsemane and later on the hill of Calvary.
So as I begin to reflect on what I am thankful for, I begin this week by remembering how painful the cross was for Jesus to bear and for God the Father to allow, and that redeeming us was worth that much to my heavenly Father.
How would you have reacted in my wife’s situation? What are you thankful for?
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Korean Fried Chicken (12.8.10)
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Great post dude. Every time I think I am having it tough I am reminded my cross to bear is nothing compared to what the big man had to do.
D1 will have plenty of crosses to bear in her lifetime. We all could use a break now and then.
Definitely. Always good to be reminded.
And I’ll have you know, I have plenty of crosses for D1 to bear – I don’t need other kids to give them to her. These leaves just aren’t going to rake themselves, you know?
Just I was starting to crazy about not having ordered the turkey you go and make me get all contemplative on my life and what I should be thankful for 🙂
Sometimes, well, most of the time, we do forget that we have it good. That life was not easy for our Saviour and yet, he saved us anyway.
Thanx for having us take a step back, in a week that should be focused on thankfulness and gearing up to season that reminds us just how good we have it!
(and the reason for the season!)
We were already getting lost in the hustle and bustle of the season, planning holiday parties, thinking of gifts to buy, etc…it’s always good to take a step back and reflect.
Oh, wow. I think I would have done the exact same thing, told them to stop, but I wouldn’t have had the composure to then tell them I thought they were nice girls etc. I would have just said, “Hey, knock it off. She can learn about noogies from her siblings.” I think how your wife handled it is MUCH better. Good for her!
I would’ve contemplated giving them a noogie myself. My wife handled it much better!
I would have had much the same reaction your wife did. Just because kids are kids, doesn’t mean we aren’t responsible for stop harsh treatment. God may not have stopped it but I think part of our charge as humans is to treat one another well.
I’m thankful that your posts always make me think though.
Exactly. And for me, it just goes to show the lengths to which God went.
I don’t know. I guess it would depend on how my child was acting. If he was acting like he either *wanted* to know what it was all about, or liked it, then I would let it go but remind the children to be gentle, and that the purpose is not to hurt one another.
However, if my child seemed upset or concerned, no way would I let it happen.
I think part of the difference here is that I have two boys, and boys play rough and giving “noogies” to one another seems like an every day occurrence in my house.
Interestingly enough, the OG1 has two older brothers. Go figure.
But D1 is certainly learning adversity – in church of all places. The other kids are much older than her and taunt her, but she thinks it’s fun b/c they are friends.
I would have kicked that kids across the room… but that’s just me.
Touching post, darn you! I’m trying to stay composed and appear to be working in the office.
Same here. I think it’s a blessing from God that my wife finds herself in these situations, not me.
Appear to be working? Of course we’re always working!
Great post! Needed to be reminded of that.
Thanks! Hope you have a great Thanksgiving!
At first I thought you were about to be all “so that’s why we should encourage people to give our kids noogies” and I was about to get all confused about the religious meaning there but then you went a different, introspective way. And then I had no funny comment.
Awww, I was kind of hoping you’d have a suggestion on messing with OG1 and OG2’s heads.
I am so bad at answering these types of questions because I always react different than I think I will. Sigh. I probably would’ve had a similar reaction to your wife’s. I needed this reminder…thank you 🙂
I typically avoid conflict, but when it comes to my kids, I don’t necessarily welcome it, but I don’t mind.
Well this post kind of threw me a curve ball at the end…and blew me away. In a good way.
I only have 1 child but he beats up our dog on the daily. We do reprimand him for it so I guess it’s the same if he was giving a sibling a noogie. It’s one thing to get treated like that outside of the home but inside? You have control over that.
I love the phrase “on the daily.” I use it on the daily.
you did the right thing, I think parents need to step in whenever bullying of any sort is going on. As a side note, I’m looking into this concept of ‘free range kids’ but I’m not sure what their philosophy is…so thats not a recommendation or anything. Heard about you from DaddyYoDude
Thanks for stopping by. I’ve heard about that concept too – I’m guessing those parents are against child leashes.
I think I’d probably have made them stop, too. Kids do need to learn and figure things out for themselves, but there needs to be some parent interaction, too.
Agreed. I think there’s a fine line between parent interaction and parent overreaction though 😛
pop, this week I’m thankful for antibiotics and friends who stop for mcdonalds after a drag queen slips you the tongue.
also? for my husband. and my friends, near and far.
🙂
I notice you didn’t mention your fam 😛
I hope I would’ve reacted as graciously as your wife did, after she told them to stop. I think I may have a tendency to be momma bear lol. Also, I’m thankful for another year added to my life, thankful for a new job (although it leaves me no time to finish writing my post about the things I am grateful for that has been sitting on my computer for a week now). Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours, Pop!
Those are great things to be thankful for! Happy Thanksgiving to you as well, Cyrene!
You can’t post things like this for a pregnant woman to read. Now I’m blubbering like a baby. Seriously.
I apologize – I didn’t take into account those who were blogging while pregnant.
I would have been tempted to give one of the older girls a noogie and see how they liked it. Or a wet willy. But, of course, I wouldn’t have done either. It just would have been tempting.
Or you would’ve taught Bobo how to noogie?
I can be way too fierce when I perceive that someone is hurting my children. I think your wife did the right thing.
P.S. I’m thankful for polite soldiers who change my flat tires. I would blog the whole endearing store but I’m seriously lacking spare time.
That’s awesome! The soldier, not the someone hurting your children.
Who knew you could learn a theological lesson from a noogie? 😉
I would have stopped it, too.
I wonder if Robin Ventura saw God when he got noogied by Nolan Ryan?
I would have done the same exact thing. Although our children will have their cross to bear, it’s our job as parents to protect them when they can’t carry their crosses alone. I feel God uses parents for that purpose to ensure we protect and raise our children to be compassionate, faithful and caring adults.
Absolutely agree. I’m just thankful the wife was there.
My motherly instincts would do the same thing as your wife did but she handled it way better. I love what Eleana said, God uses parents to guide our children 🙂 They will definitely have their own cross to bear but it’s not going to hurt them for us to teach them the differences between what’s acceptable and what’s not. 😀 Awesome post as usual, Pop! Hope you and your lovely family had a great and blessed Thanksgiving Day!
We did! Hope you did as well!
Jesus and noogies. Great post. I’m not sure what I would have done or WWJD? Now if it was a wedgie. Then the choice would be clear.
I’ve never received a noogie, and I’m thankful for that! I don’t think of noogies as normal play for kids D1’s age. Since the other girls were older, that’s more bullying than playing. I would’ve done what your wife did, but not as calmly.
I’m thankful for my health, the roof over my head, my doctors, my health insurance, my friends, children’s laughter, Nutter and my blog.
My wife was more bothered with the fact that one of the girls was goading the other girl on.
Nutter is definitely something to be thankful for and I’m thankful for your blog!
Great minds think alike.
When do you step in?
I posted on this very same thing today.
And, no, this is not a trick to get you to visit my blog.
as if…
As if I ever need an excuse to visit your blog.