Posts Tagged ‘Funny’


November 29, 2012 2 comments

Since my family is leaving for a month-long missions trip to Thailand shortly, in all likelihood, this will be my last blog post of 2012. While I’m super excited for visiting our friends in Thailand (not to mention Mr. Donut), I’m positive the stress-levels in our home will be elevated as we have to begin packing and are attempting to send out our New Year’s greeting cards prior to leaving, so I thought it’d be a good time to reflect on what I’m thankful for this past year (in no particular order):

– For funny kids: particularly D1. Sure being a parent can be challenging often at times, but it’s also incredibly hilarious. In Sunday school, D1’s teacher has been teaching them about the armor of God:  belt of truth, breastplate of righteousness, feet fitted with the preparation of the gospel of peace, , shield of faith, the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the spirit. So each week, they learn about the piece of armor and make it. The teacher then collected the item and held on to it until they completed the unit.

A few weeks ago, D1 told a lie to my wife. When she confesses to my wife that she did in fact tell a lie, my wife asks, “D1, why did you lie?” Her response? “Because mom, my teacher has my belt of truth.”

– For that first bite of rice not causing me to go all Nutty Professor:  My goal weight was 175 and I met that in early October, mostly due to a low-carb diet and lifting weights. Once I met the goal weight, I figured it was time to eat some rice. I’m not gonna lie – I thought I’d go all Nutty Professor and all the fat would suddenly come back after that first bite. Thankfully, I’ve been keeping steady at 175 and I hope to do so for the foreseeable future.

– For my parents: we’ve been living with them for more than a year now, and somehow, we haven’t had any major blow ups. I’m grateful that they’d give up their freedom and comfort to house us. It’s easy to let myself become ungrateful and only think of the inconveniences living with them may cause – choosing to be grateful has been both challenging and a source of personal growth for me.

– For juicy baby fat: D2’s thighs were mighty juicy, but S1’s are even more amazing. For his last checkup, he was off the charts for weight and 90th percentile for height. The little guy’s 6 months old and weighs around 20lbs; D2 weighs about 25.

– For my wife: nearly 8 years of marriage and I’m falling more in love with her every day. This year marked a lot of change and challenges for her: quitting her job and becoming a homeschooler, caring for the kids while I nursed my sprained ankle and stomach issues, birthing and nursing S1, and encouraging me as I spent more time at the gym.

– For this blog and my readers: while I don’t update nearly as much as I used to (those who blog regularly with 3 or more kids, I salute you!), I’m thankful that this blog has been an outlet for my musings and helping me to become better at organizing my thoughts. The people I’ve had a chance to meet and converse with have been an invaluable resource & encouragement in my life.

As we look toward the end of another year, what are you thankful for?


Be The Rads!

March 4, 2010 9 comments

Koreans speaking English is amusing. I still remember the Be The Reds! t-shirts for the 2002 World Cup and then the epic follow-up: Reds go together! To make matters worse, most Korean immigrants can’t pronounce the word red, e.g. it was awesome when my dad and his friends would shout “BE THE RADS! BE THE RADS!” while watching the games on TV. I’m not really sure what it is about Koreans and their need to put English on things (see: stationary).

Some other things that are unequivocally true of Koreans:

  1. Everyone who visits America has to go to Niagara Falls, but we call it Nigh Ah Gah Lah Pohk Poh.
  2. If an older lady from Korea visits, she will pick vegetables from the garden & entrance displays of your housing complex. And yes, they will fight squirrels for chestnuts. And they almost always have the worst posture you’ve ever seen in your life.
  3. We’ll fight at D&B b/c Koreans love beef.
  4. If one Korean brings out a cell phone, everyone within a 100 yard radius must brandish their cell phone (Note: this may hold true for most every culture now).
  5. Koreans love to exfoliate. If you’ve ever showered at a Korean’s place, you may have noticed a brightly colored, sandpaper-ish rag hanging. That’s what we use to ddeh mee luh. And yes, we use it everywhere.
  6. Lasik is nowhere near the most common eye surgery for Koreans, esp. the women.
  7. General disregard for rules, esp. older folks, who generally do some pretty ghetto and nasty stuff. And the best part is? When confronted, the reply is always, “Ing Guh Lih Shee No!”
  8. We take lots of everything, such as napkins at restaurants, and often take stuff home thinking that it was given to us. At any event where there is anything remotely resembling a buffet, the ladies will usually approach the table once everyone has passed through the buffet once and will pack to-go plates.
  9. Suck, Ho, Tech, Bum, Young, Pill, Man, Gee and Yoo are just some of the words used to make our names. Mercifully, we can only use two of the above since our last name (which is written first) takes up one of the 3 syllables. So something like Gee Man Yoo Suck Pill Ho isn’t possible. Although, Yoo can also be a last name so Yoo Suck Ho is definitely in play. You don’t give love a bad name; Korean parents do.
  10. We don’t heed warnings like: “No Open Flames” or “No Cooking In Hotel Room.” Who needs the snacks from the minibar/fridge at a hotel when you can make Shin Ramyun and pork belly. Mmmmmmm…
  11. Korean pleasantries typically go: Hi. I haven’t seen you in a long time. Wow, you got fat/lost weight.

But there’s also some incredibly awesome things about us.

  1. Flavored milks – esp. the banana and strawberry are soooo good. They don’t taste anything like the real thing; they’re better.
  2. Kim Yu Na!
  3. Galbi, galbi, galbi!
  4. Duh Rah Ma’s (dramas) – yeah, they’re all the same: someone is poor, someone is rich; forbidden love; rare forms of cancer or disease; lots of yelling by parents; really artificial smacking sounds when aforementioned parents inevitably smack their child; a plot twist everyone sees coming; and an ending that’ll make you cry. And the crazy part is, they’ll streeeeetch this plot out over 10 too many episodes, but you won’t be able to stop watching.
  5. Our backdancers – our pop stars may not be the best singers but they’ve got awesome dance moves.
  6. The Butt Bowl!

The Best of Both Worlds

For the uninitiated, that’s jjam ppong on the left (spicy seafood) and jja jang myun on the right.

Categories: Amusings Tags: , ,

Are You Serious?!

January 13, 2010 5 comments

You gotta get up pretty early in the morning to shock and/or disgust me at work. I’m no longer bothered by clipping of finger/toenails (Yes. You read right. Toenails). I’m still not ok w/ a guy standing next to me in a urinal even though there are 3 others available – but that no longer shocks or disgusts me. Today, January 13, in the Year of our Lord two thousand and ten, someone got up VERY early.

I’m happily dropping the kids off at the pool. Someone walks in, so naturally, I do a courtesy flush and put on my silencer. Turns out they’re gonna drop one too, i.e., I need to keep the silencer on indefinitely *sad face* Oddly enough, dude starts talking on his phone. That’s fine – I’ve long accepted that people are far too important to put someone on hold when Nature calls. That’s right – 3-way calling is standard technology around there parts. But then I notice something odd: he’s speaking on the phone and then I hear the turning of a newspaper. Are you serious? No way…he can’t possibly be using a bluetooth headset, right?

More talking, more turning of the newspaper, and dropping bombs w/ a complete and utter disdain for the DC public sewage system! Did he have a 3rd appendage w/ which he was holding his phone to his ear? Noooooo…. No one could possibly be hung like that…could they?

Anywho, he finishes up and I peek through the TINY gap in the stall and sure enough, he was using a bluetooth headset.

Are you serious?!

My first workout of 2010, I see this hulk of a man at the gym who is talking to himself. Turns out, he’s got a bluetooth headset and he’s using it during the workout! He continues to talk on the phone for the duration I was in the same area with him (~40 minutes) and probably continued long thereafter. I’ve seen dudes txt and talk in between sets and what not, but never heard this:

“Yeah dawg, I TOOOOOOOOOOHtally woulda hit that….man YOOOOOOOOOOOOU have no idea son…..SHOOOOOOOOrty was…..THIIIIIIIIIck….”

This enlightening discourse continued and my workout was all the better for it. To compound matters, I hear such clever lyrics as “I make them good girls go baaaaaaad…” “I’m talking about – everybody getting crunk, crunk. Boys trying to touch my junk, junk,” and “I’m noddin my head like Yeah. I’m movin my hips like Yeah.” I think doing power hour w/ vodka would’ve been better for my brain cells than that first visit to the gym in 2010.

Are you serious?!

I know we’re all busy people but

  1. you’re not that important, unless your last name happens to be Obama and your first name happens to be Barack, and even then I’d ask, “Mr. President…are you in the can?”
  2. no one looks cool talking on a bluetooth
  3. who likes being on the other end of the line? Couldn’t/shouldn’t they simply say, “Oh…obviously, you’re taking a dump. So call me back after you are done.”
  4. don’t shout, “HEY! How are you doing?!?!?!” while you are walking towards me talking on that thing. This feels much worse than when you wave to someone only to find out they are waving to the person behind you.

Bluetooth = use it w/ restraint and some common sense and courtesy. Let’s get serious.

Categories: Amusings Tags: , , ,


January 8, 2010 1 comment

#1: Made me smile

It’s Wednesday around 6pm. I just got back from the gym, wife and daughter are both down for a nap, and I’m grabbing a quick bite to eat before I head out to lead praise at prayer meeting, which begins at 7pm. Towards the end of my meal, my daughter starts crying. I didn’t want the wife to be disturbed by the crying since she was really tired, so I went up to do my patented bed time song. Before I start singing, I ask her if she’s ok and then I tell her that I have to go to church, and then proceed to sing the song.

It works like a charm.

Just as I was about to leave for church around 6:20 or so, my daughter starts crying again – this time, much louder. I’m hoping the wife doesn’t wake up but the crying just gets louder and louder. “Oh man,” I thought, “she musta pooped!” I let her cry for a minute or two and then go up to get her. I ask her what’s wrong and she exclaims (in Korean): “Can we go to church to meet God?”

#2: Made me laugh

We’re at my in-laws last night, and I’m watching the game w/ the bro-in-law when my daughter decides to come down the stairs. It was getting late, so I told her, “Let’s go home.” She had made it halfway down the stairs and when she heard me say that, she quickly reversed course and started flying back up the stairs saying, “I don’t like…I don’t like…” and when my mother-in-law came into view, she called out to her in the most endearing voice. What a scammer.

#3: Made me laugh out loud

My daughter is playing in the bathroom while the wife and I are getting ready for bed. While we were brushing our teeth, she heads to her room and grabs one of her teddy bears. She comes back and then places it inside of her potty*. We turn around and ask her what’s going on, and she replies, “The bear is pooping,” and laughs. She was very proud of herself.

* We’re slowly but surely starting to potty train. Trust me: it’s FAR from amusing. The toilet seat we have is blue and white but we don’t use it. We bought it b/c it was just our daughter’s size but then we realized cleaning poop and pee out of that bad boy would be like Diapers 2.0, except this time you’d need some elbow grease and would risk an 80% chance of touching poop w/ your hands. Definitely a downgrade.

Categories: Amusings Tags: ,