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Things I Learned This Past Week

February 16, 2011 Leave a comment Go to comments

Between Disney Princesses on Ice, D1’s 3rd birthday and Singlehood Awareness Day Valentine’s Day, this past week was filled with activity, and I managed to learn a few things along the way.

  1. 9/11 was really good for stadium vendors – Not to make light of the tragic events of that day, but stadium vendors have to be grateful b/c 1) every bag is searched in the name of security and 2) dangerous items that can be used to commit acts of terror like bottles of water and snacks for your kids are forcibly removed. So they end up with a stadium full of parents with hungry, thirsty and whiny kids and they’re able to charge $4 for a bottle of water, $10 for a bucket of peanuts or popcorn and $12 for cotton candy. Sunummabish!
  2. There Needs to Be A Daddy/Mommy Flask – the only thing they allow you to bring into the stadium/arena, is formula or breastmilk, which makes me think – why hasn’t some entrepreneur capitalized on a potentially lucrative market by selling what looks like bottles of formula filled with liquor? Think of it as the Daddy/Mommy flask. Seriously. What parent wouldn’t take a swig or two (or ten) of the bottle during Disney on Ice? And I’d gladly suckle on a bottle for that goodness – just make sure the nipple isn’t slow flow.
  3. Walt Disney Presents The Racketeer – Imagine several hundred little girls, all dressed in officially licensed Disney Princess dresses, clamoring for their dad to buy them crappy pieces of plastic that light up for $12 and plastic tiaras for $6. Now imagine the dads looking over at their daughter and smiling, then glancing at the vendor with a look that says, “How do you sleep at night?”, then a glance at their daughter, then back to the vendor as they fork over wads of cash.
  4. Disney Songs Are Awesome – I don’t care how many man points I lose for admitting this nor am I ashamed to admit that I was tapping my feet during Under the Sea. If you grew up in the 80s and 90s, you can’t tell me these lyrics don’t evoke fond memories/won’t get stuck in your head: “Don’t you dare close your eyes. A hundred thousand things to see
    Hold your breath it gets better” “Try the grey stuff it’s delicious. Don’t believe me? Ask the dishes” “Strollin’ along down the…what’s that word again? Street. Up where they walk, up where they run, up where they stay all day in the sun”
  5. Party Blowers Always Seem Like A Good Idea – until you hear that high-pitched BRRRRRRRRR BRRRRRRRR BRRRRRRRRRRRR on endless repeat for half an hour and then you go to snap the blower in half only to realize it’s made out of paper and is unbreakable, BRRRRRRRRRRR BRRRRRRRRRRRRR BRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
  6. Don’t Tell Your Kid You’re Having Cake – they won’t eat anything else.
  7. Balloons Are A PAIN to Take Home – my brother-in-law bought balloons for D1’s birthday, which she absolutely loved. Driving home with said balloons sucked. Also, seeing a giant Dora in your rear-view mirror late at night can be startling.
  8. You Can Call Me Marty Freakin’ Stewart – for Valentine’s Day, I had the day off so I made my wife’s favorite Trader Joe’s 17 bean soup, made some ice cream using the Cusinart Ice Cream Maker my sister got me for my birthday, and brown velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting (red velvet minus the food coloring).
  9. There’s A Reason They Call It Red Velvet – sure, the cupcakes tasted good, but only if your eyes were closed.
  10. There’s Such A Thing As Too Much of A Good Thing – I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE cream cheese frosting. I used to state boldly, “I’d happily eat a whole bowl.” Well, Valentine’s Day was my opportunity. I made WAY too much frosting and had a significant amount leftover. It played out like this scene from Ace Ventura:

    First spoon: YUM! Second Spoon: heart starts to slow a bit, starting to feel a little numb. Third Spoon: Three spoons is too much.

What about you? What did you learn this past week? Could you eat more than three spoonfuls of cream cheese frosting?

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  1. mommylebron
    February 16, 2011 at 11:41 am

    You always crack me up, Pop! You know, you should pass that flask idea by Jillsmo, I bet she could come up with something (if she hasn’t already).
    I was tapping my foot just reading the lyrics! I adore The Little Mermaid but we can’t watch it here because it traumatized my girl. 😦
    I made red velvet cupcakes on VDay, too. Mine were actually red, and heart shaped too!

    • Pop
      February 16, 2011 at 11:44 am

      Oh, they brought out this MASSIVE fire breathing dragon for Sleeping Beauty. All the little princesses in the arena were crying after that.

      Heart shaped? How cute!

  2. February 16, 2011 at 11:48 am

    You are awesome to take your girls to the Disney show. And yes, you are lying if you don’t love Disney music. Parental flask? Brilliant! And sadly, I can eat more than 3 spoons of frosting, though I do want to throw up.

    • Pop
      February 16, 2011 at 12:30 pm

      On one trip to a Missions conference in Illinois, I drove our college group in our church bus – I think 5 girls and 4 guys. They sang Disney songs the whole way there #ididntmind

  3. KLZ
    February 16, 2011 at 12:20 pm

    Disney songs really are awesome.

    And Pixar makes me cry.

    Thank God I don’t have a man card to give up.

    • Pop
      February 16, 2011 at 12:26 pm

      Forget the man card, if you didn’t tear up even the tiniest bit at the end of Toy Story 3, you should give up your human card because you’re clearly a robot or a zombie!

  4. February 16, 2011 at 12:29 pm

    Ok, with Liz talking Chipotle & you talking cream cheese frosting…pregnant woman is getting some cravings going here…

    I did tear up at Toy Story 3…and my husband was disappointed that they didn’t all go into the fire. Because that would be unexpected. He just oozes sensitivity. LoL

    • Pop
      February 16, 2011 at 12:34 pm

      Then I must be a pregnant man b/c I am now hankering for Chipotle covered in cream cheese. HEY! Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it!

      I kinda thought they’d burn to death too.

  5. TK
    February 16, 2011 at 12:30 pm

    Singleness Awareness Day. Short for SAD. Hysterical Pop. I couldn’t stop laughing as I read your post.

    I’m taking my kiddos to the big rip off, err I mean Disney on Ice next month. Thanks for the heads up about the wads of cash my wallet will be separated from.

    • Pop
      February 16, 2011 at 12:35 pm

      Good luck! I managed to escape losing only one Mr. Jackson. Other dads? Didn’t fare so well.

  6. February 16, 2011 at 1:38 pm

    Picturing a bunch of adults suckling on bottles while watching Disney makes me giggle

    • Pop
      February 24, 2011 at 11:50 am

      It’s a hilarious image.

  7. kim
    February 16, 2011 at 1:58 pm

    If Disney On Ice sucked so much money from your wallet, what’s going to happen AT the actual Disney World? I’m shuddering just thinking of it. Balloons in cars . . . for.bid.en. Too tramatauzing. For me. What I learned this week, well last: Sarah does NOT have a filter on her thoughts, I am fascinated by Lil’ Wayne’s prison tat’s, and today I learned that Violet thinks she is Rosa Parks and is boycotting her bus.

    • Pop
      February 24, 2011 at 11:50 am

      Actually, that’s one of the first things my wife said when we got in: “oh. my. Can you just imagine Disney World?!”

  8. February 16, 2011 at 2:54 pm

    for some reason #8 made me chuckle. Marty freakin Steward – PERFECTION! Also, your wife is a lucky gal! If I left my H to cook we’d be nomming on PB & J and maybe some buttered pasta if I’m lucky.

    • Pop
      February 24, 2011 at 11:51 am

      Hey now, buttered pasta and PB&J are a perfectly balanced meal. 😛

  9. February 16, 2011 at 4:49 pm

    Is it odd that no matter how many times I read the Disney lyrics you wrote, I cannot do so without hearing the tune in my head?

    • Pop
      February 24, 2011 at 11:51 am

      Not odd at all, so long as you don’t consider it odd that I feel like busting out in song like some whack musical.

  10. February 16, 2011 at 5:30 pm

    You were the guy that took girls on platonic Disney movie dates and then went in for the kill didn’t you?

    • Pop
      February 24, 2011 at 11:51 am

      No comment.

  11. liz
    February 16, 2011 at 9:50 pm

    I am SO with you in the flask AND the Disney loot! When I took Kate to see Disney on Ice last fall, I could not believe how much a plastic pen even cost!

    • Pop
      February 24, 2011 at 11:52 am

      Disney’s got a good thing going, that’s for sure.

  12. February 17, 2011 at 9:00 am

    I’m pretty fond of cream cheese frosting too. Try dipping animal crackers in them… mmmm… tastiness!

    And I agree… Disney songs are awesome!

    • Pop
      February 24, 2011 at 11:53 am

      YUM! I love dipping Teddy Grahams in cream cheese frosting.

  13. February 17, 2011 at 4:01 pm

    Nothing like paying more for a candy bar than you did for the ticket… that reminds me, the circus is coming up.

    • Pop
      February 24, 2011 at 11:54 am

      Come to think of it, my parents took us to a circus and we bought a ton of merchandise. We never did go back to the circus…

  14. February 18, 2011 at 1:29 am

    After reading this, I’m soooo glad my kids don’t know there’s a Disney on ice!!! My husband got excited about a circus coming to town in a couple of weeks, until he saw on their website that the cheapest seat was $50, and that was the kid’s price! I’m not to keen on Disney songs but there are definitely some children’s songs that get stuck in my head and I don’t even mind. That’s when you know you’re a parent…

    • Pop
      February 24, 2011 at 11:55 am

      *gulp* $50???

      I’ve come to know and tolerate D-D-D-Dora…

  15. February 24, 2011 at 12:09 pm

    I’m kind of proud that the only thing I can do to guarantee that my kids will stop what they’re doing & pay attention to something is when I sit down to play “Under the Sea” on the piano. I have no idea what it is about the tune, but something in it (or the way I play it) captivates a 15-month-old and an 8-month-old. I go to the well, often.

    • Pop
      February 24, 2011 at 12:13 pm

      I must say John, I had a lot of respect for you with all your running, but learning that you can play Under the Sea on the piano? *bows in reverence*

      • February 24, 2011 at 12:18 pm

        Well, the piano playing thing goes along with the “me.” I started lessons in kindergarten – I can honestly say that I read music better than I read English.

        The ability to play piano, and the ability to reach things on tall shelves are the only talents that have translated well as I’ve become a parent.

        • Pop
          February 24, 2011 at 1:00 pm

          My “talent” that has translated well as I’ve become a parent? My Scooby Doo impression. Both D1 and D2 LOVE my Scooby Doo laugh.

  16. March 1, 2011 at 3:06 pm

    I am so far behind on my blog reading since my husband got sick. My daughter probably watched The Little Mermaid three times a day for four years straight – I’d suggest other movies “How about Aladdin?” “How about Snow White?” to which she would reply “How about The Little Mermaid?!”

    Good times, good times – and yes, a parent flask would have been dandy to have during all those on ice shows!!

    • Pop
      March 2, 2011 at 9:27 am

      Biz! You can’t be more behind than I am – and I don’t really have a good excuse. 😛

      I suggest other books to my daughter too – she is undeterred.

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