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February 10, 2011 Leave a comment Go to comments

I’m finding that as I get older, I have a tougher time remembering things.  I often forget where I leave my keys. My wife and I go to great lengths to pack the diaper bag only to forget it at home. I need to write things down to remember them. If my train of thought is interrupted, that train ain’t comin back. In fact, memories aren’t so much things that I have anymore; they’re things that I’m slowly losing.

And that’s why I need to get this down – while it’s still relatively fresh in my memory.

Three years ago, my life changed. If you’ve been following this blog, you know that I love the number 5. Five+ years ago, I made a commitment to my wife, but three years ago, my life got flipped turned upside down. And I’d like to take a minute just sit right there, I’ll tell you how I became the dad of a girl called D1.

I still remember the anxiety I felt leading up to D1’s due date. “I’m gonna be a dad!….will I be a good dad?…will I ever get a full night’s rest again?…will I be a good dad?” Her due date came and went and I was more anxious than ever. Each night, I went to bed imagining waking up in the middle of the night when my wife finally went into labor. On the 3rd night at 3am, the contractions began. Like any first time dad, I immediately got into “Oh! It’s on like donkey kong!” mode.

What does that phrase even mean? Am I to light a fire in a barrel drum, grab my woman, climb a series of ladders and start throwing barrels down? But I digress.

My wife had to give me a quick, “Settle down,” and she labored for about 18 hours.

I still remember how windy and cold it was at the birth center that night. I remember thinking, “I really hope the power doesn’t go out.” And then the anxiety hit me again: “I’m gonna be a dad!….will I be a good dad?…will I ever get a full night’s rest again?…will I be a good dad?”

I still remember that she was nearly born on the toilet and my wife barely made it back to the bed. I still remember the time (8:38pm). I still remember the joy and relief I felt when I heard her cry. I remember the tears that fell when the midwife shouted, “It’s a girl!” I still remember how exhausted my wife was as they put D1 on her tummy. I still remember seeing that D1 had the same birthmark as my wife and telling my wife, “She has your mark!” I still remembered how incredible it was when she desperately made her way to the boob like someone looking for an oasis in the desert. I still remember when she latched on and wouldn’t let go.

I still remember when the midwife handed me the scissors and saying a prayer before cutting the cord.

I still remember calling my sister and telling her, “I’m a dad! I’m a dad!” and both of us began sobbing. I still remember looking over at my wife and feeling so proud of her. I still remember holding her for the first time – the only way I can describe what I felt at that moment is that my heart was full.

I still remember putting on her diaper for the first time and being corrected by the midwife that I need to fasten it tighter. I remember putting her in her carseat for the first time and being corrected by the midwife that I need to fasten it tighter.

I remember driving home at 10mph below the speed limit and silently cursing anyone who sped by us, “SLOW DOWN YOU MANIAC!”

I still remember getting home and telling D1 for the very first time: “We’re home…you’re home, D1. You’re home.”

I may forget a lot of things as I get older, and I may not even remember any of the details in this post without rereading it. But I’ll never forget how full my heart felt 3 years ago.

Happy birthday, D1. I am so proud to be your dad. Life hasn’t been the same since you entered my life, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love you.

What about you? Are you losing your memory (or mind)? Do you remember your kid’s birth story?

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  1. February 10, 2011 at 11:20 am

    sweet sweet birthday post, you big sap you.

    Of course I remember my kid’s birth stories. And the time of day. All of it.

    I also remember being scared shitless. That really hasn’t gone away.

    • Pop
      February 10, 2011 at 11:28 am

      No mom I’ve ever talked to forgets the birth story.

      And when you mentioned the word ‘sap,’ I got kind of scared. If I cry at the Disney Princesses on Ice, I may have to get a fertility test to make sure the equipment’s still in working condition.

  2. TK
    February 10, 2011 at 11:25 am

    Being a mom I think it’s our duty to trot out our birth stories at any given moment. Plus it’s hard to forget the pain of squeezing a watermelon out of a place no watermelon should ever be.

    But I’m with you completely on the getting older and forgetting things. I actually have to have a weekly reminder that my kids get out of school early every Thursday. Because if my cell phone or my laptop doesn’t remind me…well then guess who is feeling like a monumental a$$ for picking up her kiddos 30 minutes late? Usually presents or ice cream are offered to assuage my kiddos hurt feelers that Mom forgot them. AGAIN.

    • Pop
      February 10, 2011 at 11:29 am

      “watermelon out of a place no watermelon should ever be.”

      I often think that kidney stones are God’s way of giving men the fear of birth pangs.

      LOL. I often forget that I left a drink on top of the car, but I guess as long as I don’t drive off without one of the kids, I’m ok. Right?

  3. February 10, 2011 at 11:28 am

    Yay, Happy Birthday D1!!

    • Pop
      February 10, 2011 at 11:30 am

      YAY!!!

  4. February 10, 2011 at 11:28 am

    I think, even when senility sets in, the one thing I’ll remember is the first time I saw my little girl. She was in an incubator – she had come out by c-section, and the doc wouldn’t allow me in to witness the birth.

    So there I was, in the hallway. The. nurse brought the incubator up and said “sir? Here’s your daughter.”

    She opened up the top of it and I peered inside at this little thing. The nurse laughed and said “you can touch her”. So I put one finger on her arm. It was warm.

    Everything got kind of blurry after that.

    Kind of like now, actually..

    • Pop
      February 10, 2011 at 11:31 am

      Your description just gave me the chills. Seriously.

  5. February 10, 2011 at 11:36 am

    Memory loss? Good lord. My brain is far to mushy to retain anything as significant as memory. I remember to breath & not wet myself. I think that’s about as much as I can hope for at this point.

    This is a very sweet post. 🙂 Congrats & Happy Birthday to D1! 🙂

    • Pop
      February 10, 2011 at 11:46 am

      Definitely. Once I can’t remember to do those things, someone should probably put me out of my misery. Or at least offer to change my Depends.

      • February 10, 2011 at 11:49 am

        That’s what the kids are for. I change their diapers for a few years, they change MY diapers later on. Hehehe

        I wonder if they make Diaper Genies for adult diapers? Or if there are environmentally friendly cloth adult alternatives…hmmm…

        • Pop
          February 10, 2011 at 11:51 am

          If there isn’t a company that makes em, I’ll just rig one out of a bath towel.

          I just hope I can remember not to use it for drying myself later on.

  6. February 10, 2011 at 12:47 pm

    Happy Birthday to your little girl! My memory is always in overload, but my husband’s is horrible. I love him dearly, but usually when we forget something, it’s because we’re together. This saying sums it up “I can do bad myself.”

    • Pop
      February 11, 2011 at 10:15 am

      Uh oh. It’s only going to get worse now that he’s got an iFriend in his life.

  7. February 10, 2011 at 1:02 pm

    Sigh.

    I love my husband more than anything in the world, but he does not have the ability or inclination to sit down and write a post like this about the birth of either of our daughters. What a truly amazing gift you have given your wife, your daughter, and yourself. I love that you wrote this post. Not enough dads take the time to capture that moment.

    I love that you did.

    Happy birthday to your daughter.

    She is a very lucky little girl.

    • Pop
      February 11, 2011 at 10:16 am

      Thanks, Kris. And when she contemplates dating boys, I hope she remembers that she’s a lucky girl when daddy breaks all of their legs.

  8. February 10, 2011 at 2:46 pm

    Beautiful! How special to have a dads perspective

    • Pop
      February 11, 2011 at 10:18 am

      Thank you. Actually, in conversations I’ve had, it seems most dads remember the birth story better. Well, the details of it anyway. Most birth stories I’ve heard from women usually involve a description containing a large object and lots and lots of pain.

  9. February 10, 2011 at 3:24 pm

    losing my mind? yes. perhaps a little.
    also? your daughter is a lucky little girl.

    • Pop
      February 11, 2011 at 10:26 am

      They say Sudoku is good for your brain, but honestly, it makes me lose my mind – especially the insanely difficult ones.

  10. February 10, 2011 at 4:03 pm

    Happy Birthday D1. I remember those last minutes of sleep. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.

    • Pop
      February 11, 2011 at 10:32 am

      Not to mention sleeping in. Not even born, and the kid already woke us up at 3am. Figures. So worth it though.

  11. February 10, 2011 at 4:04 pm

    Sniffle.

    Such a sweet gift you’ve given your family.

    • Pop
      February 11, 2011 at 10:38 am

      Thanks, Missy.

  12. Joxy
    February 10, 2011 at 7:42 pm

    Happy birthday D1, your pop rocks!

    • Pop
      February 11, 2011 at 10:38 am

      Thanks, Joxy. Actually she rocks. No seriously. She wails on her Dora guitar. 😛

  13. February 10, 2011 at 8:20 pm

    You? Just made me cry asshole…but good fuzzy warm sappy tears. I hope that you wrote this down and tucked it away for her wedding. Seriously. If not, then you should. Now!

    • Pop
      February 11, 2011 at 10:40 am

      Fuzzy warm sappy tears are good. And you just made my heart skip a beat when I read “her wedding.” It’s scary to think that far ahead.

  14. February 11, 2011 at 12:19 pm

    So lovely. So lovely.

    I’m glad you were proud of your wife.

    It hurts to not feel that.

    You gave her something so important, your pride.

    • Pop
      February 16, 2011 at 12:11 pm

      Really? It’s usually my pride that gets me in trouble. 😛

  15. February 11, 2011 at 1:12 pm

    Are you kidding me? Not remembering is pretty much the rule now more than the exception. I. Am. My. Mother. *shiver

    • Pop
      February 16, 2011 at 12:12 pm

      God help you, Ruby.

  16. liz
    February 11, 2011 at 6:55 pm

    Pop, no matter how bad your memory gets, I guarantee you will not forget her almost being born on the pot! 🙂

    • Pop
      February 16, 2011 at 12:12 pm

      Nope. Though she won’t know that until she reads this post.

  17. February 11, 2011 at 8:35 pm

    Oh, Pop… I love this story. And my heart just melted at, “I’m gonna be a dad!…will I be a good dad?” Yes. You are a good dad. (And, no, you will never get a full night’s rest again. At least that’s what I’ve heard.)

    My son’s birthday is also February 10. He turned two yesterday. A special day for both of us.

    • Pop
      February 16, 2011 at 12:13 pm

      Yay! Birthday twins!

  18. February 12, 2011 at 12:23 am

    I really love this post. It’s my first time here and what a wonderful introduction to your site. I started my blog when my baby was about six months old so I have never written her/my birth story. This makes me think I should before I forget it.

    • Pop
      February 16, 2011 at 12:14 pm

      Thanks for stopping by! And you definitely should.

  1. May 19, 2011 at 9:35 am

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