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Merciful Monday: 1.10.11

January 10, 2011 Leave a comment Go to comments

Huh. My last Merciful Monday post was on 10.11.10 and today is 1.10.11. I’m sure there’s a binary joke I could make in there somewhere but I don’t want 10. Sheesh. First post of this new year and I’ve already made a lame joke AND it was geeky to boot. I call this a win.

Anywho, I figured I’d start the year off by apologizing to my wife and amusing my readers. So here goes:

To my then-girlfriend: Have Mercy! Forget what De Beers tells you: a diamond isn’t forever; a woman’s memory is. Especially when it comes to their love interests.

It was 2002 and we had been dating for a few months. I saw an article in The Washington Post touting Citronelle’s lobster burgers. For those that are unfamiliar with the DC area, Citronlle is a well-reviewed, hoighty-toighty restaurant in Georgetown. Being poor college kids at the time, there’s no way we could’ve afforded a regular dinner there, but the lobster burger was supposed to be amazing and only $10! This served several purposes for me: 1) I get to say I took my gf out to Citronlle, 2) she gets to tell her friends that her bf took her to Citronelle, thereby me receiving the simultaneous admiration of her friends and the ire of their respective bfs, and 3) I only take a $30 hit to do so.

Even back in college, we cleaned up nicely. She looked exceptionally gorgeous that night. We got into my ’92 Corolla and we valet parked it, since it was the only option available at the restaurant. To say that was the crappiest car the valets parked that day would be like saying Christina Hendricks has big boobs: a huge (har har) understatement.

I confidently walked up to the hostess and said, “Pop – reservation for 2 at 7pm.” “Right this way, sir, ” she replied. She took us to our table and aside from Pearle Vision, I’ve never seen so many glasses in my life. Seriously. How plastered do people get at these pricey joints?!

The server comes to our table and asks us if we’d like anything to drink. “Just water, please,” I replied. “Still or (something) water?”, he asked. After a recent fine dining SNAFU in which we paid $10 for a bottle of carbonated water, I asked, “Which one is free?” At this point, I’m sure this song is going through your head (not really). After confirming our order of free water, the waiter took away ALL the glasses (cue sad trombone).

We then looked over the menus to find the lobster burgers and to our surprise, we couldn’t find them anywhere. We asked another server (apparently, the first server was just the drink guy) if they no longer serve the lobster burgers, and she told us that they are only served in the bar area. Whoops. Taking it all in stride, I told my gf that we could splurge, after all, I am a smooth operator or maybe even the most interesting man in the room. We settled on the $75/person 3-course dinners.

The other thing to note about the dinner was that there was a dedicated server who came out and cleaned off the breadcrumbs. Being a college kid, I was always impressed if I walked into a bar and it didn’t smell like urine, so you can imagine how impressed I was by the bread cleaner dude.

Anywho, the dinner was great and we had an awesome conversation.

The check comes and I briefly calculate how many books I’d have to sell back at the end of the semester to pay off the charge. I get my wallet out and HORROR!

WHERE.

IS.

MY.

CREDIT CARD?!?!?!?!

And no, this wasn’t one of those cases when you’re hanging out with your friends and you’re faking like you forgot your wallet and ask for a spot.

I look coyly over at my gf and ask, “So uhhh…how good are you at washing dishes? Because we may have to wash a LOT tonight.”

Thankfully, she had her credit card and she picked up the check. The most interesting man in the room suddenly became the most single man in the room.

Actually, for some reason, my gf was able to look beyond this dating SNAFU, and today, we have two beautiful daughters.

Anywho, we walked out to get our car and YUP! You guessed it. I forgot cash for tipping the valet. Thankfully, she had cash. Otherwise, I would’ve had to scrounge up all the change from my ashtray.

And understandably, my wife hasn’t forgotten this. Even today, whenever we go out on a nice date, I’ll say, “Don’t worry – I have my credit card.”

To my readers: Have Mercy! I thoroughly enjoyed my hiblognation and am grateful for those that are still around. Here’s to another year of bl0gging (with plenty of food porn)!!!

So what about you? Do you have any dating SNAFU stories? What do you need to apologize for as you begin this new year?

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  1. stephen yang
    January 10, 2011 at 12:46 pm

    HAHA i get the joke πŸ™‚

    • Pop
      January 10, 2011 at 12:58 pm

      01111001 01100001 01111001 00100001

  2. January 10, 2011 at 12:48 pm

    I bet it was the bread cleaner dude…swiped your card whilst brushing your bread crumb ladden crotch off. Totally would have blamed him…

    • Pop
      January 10, 2011 at 12:59 pm

      He didn’t clean the crumbs off of my crotch – the service wasn’t THAT good. πŸ˜›

      • January 10, 2011 at 1:14 pm

        And I thought you said this was a quality restaurant – how disappointing!

        • Pop
          January 10, 2011 at 1:17 pm

          I know right?! I don’t just give out 20% tips for nothing.

  3. stephen yang
    January 10, 2011 at 12:50 pm

    i gasped during the horrifying moment. great story.

    • Pop
      January 10, 2011 at 1:00 pm

      I’m pretty sure I gasped out loud and possibly soiled myself. Easily 10 10 worst dating moment for me, maybe Top 5

  4. January 10, 2011 at 12:51 pm

    So the question is, did you ever return to get a lobster burger? (They’re $30 now though…)

    • Pop
      January 10, 2011 at 1:01 pm

      $30?!?! Talk about inflation!

      And I may have to return there *note to self: sit at bar*

  5. TK
    January 10, 2011 at 12:57 pm

    I would like to apologize to myself. Dear Self, I’m sorry I listened to my Mother in Law and didn’t buy a snow blower. This morning I realized the true extent of my boneheaded-ness when I was shoveling our driveway. Which incidentally is the length of a football field. I’m truly sorry self. And I promise to buy a snow blower this week since it’s supposed to snow again next weekend.

    • Pop
      January 10, 2011 at 1:02 pm

      And I assume you’ll have to apologize to your back tomorrow when it’s sore as heck.

  6. TK
    January 10, 2011 at 12:57 pm

    By the way I’m glad your back Pop. I was getting ready to send you hate mail. Be glad you dodged that bullet. =)

    • Pop
      January 10, 2011 at 1:02 pm

      I’m glad I dodged it too. Ummm, gonna append this post.

  7. kim
    January 10, 2011 at 1:29 pm

    I’m sure I have MANY date SNAFU’s. The one I remember the most, I was on the receiving on. Guy came to the door to get me and had a major booger hanging from his nose. I thought it was a joke. It wasnt’. And I was too young to handle it with ANY grace what so ever. I let it hang there for.ever. πŸ™‚

    • Pop
      January 10, 2011 at 1:32 pm

      So this happened to someone I know: showed up on a date with his fly wide open. When the girl mentioned it, he joked with something along the lines of, “Uhhh, easier access for later?”

      • kim
        January 10, 2011 at 5:23 pm

        lol, well, OBBIOUSLY! What a well prepared guy he was! And f5 does count as a page load πŸ™‚ Thanks much!

  8. January 10, 2011 at 1:29 pm

    So good to see your blog appear in my email this morning!

    I didn’t really have any dating SNAFUs. No, I take that back. I had a couple boyfriends that were total SNAFU situations. Not any one particular date, just entire relationships.

    • Pop
      January 10, 2011 at 1:32 pm

      I had some of those too. But those were definitely FUBARs.

  9. January 10, 2011 at 1:52 pm

    This is hysterical…not that I’m laughing at your expense but you know…

    My now husband took me to a Chinese restaurant and ordered Kung Pao Chicken. He assured me that the red chilis were NOT spicy and were from the same family as red bell peppers. So I ate one. And entire one! And almost had to be carried out in an ambulance. Later I asked him why he lied and he said, oh I just wanted to see what would happen.

    I still have no idea why I married this man??

    • Pop
      January 10, 2011 at 2:13 pm

      I have no idea either.

  10. January 10, 2011 at 2:01 pm

    Oh how I’ve missed you Pop, this is most excellent. I hope you have enjoyed your hiatus. I’ve had dates where I’ve had to carry my own tray, but never the “forgotten” wallet trick. You are one lucky man. No more of this #poorcraig crap.

    • Pop
      January 10, 2011 at 2:13 pm

      #poorpopswife & #poorcraig can co-exist.

  11. January 10, 2011 at 2:33 pm

    Mmmm, lobster burgers. Tell me you have a recipe for that in your BBQ repertoire, Pop.

    What a cute story. And, yeah, I probably wouldn’t have let my husband forget about that, either. πŸ™‚

    • Pop
      January 10, 2011 at 3:20 pm

      No, but I do make a mean grilled lobster.

  12. Tim@sogeshirts
    January 10, 2011 at 3:38 pm

    Funny story. Glad to hear she forgave you. I’m guessing it was the waiter that kept asking you to buy drinks that jacked your credit card.

    • Pop
      January 11, 2011 at 12:34 pm

      Thanks, Tim. In retrospect, I should’ve played like someone stole the card even pretending to file a lost card claim.

  13. January 10, 2011 at 3:43 pm

    Oh my, I can imagine the horror of finding no credit card. I was thinking I hoped you reimbursed your date. Then further reading told me yes. You did. You are. And you will be.
    Happy ending!

    • Pop
      January 11, 2011 at 12:36 pm

      I guess you can think of it as a lifetime of repaying. And it’s worth every penny.

  14. liz
    January 10, 2011 at 3:57 pm

    Did you write her a check as soon as you could?!? Thank goodness she at least had her credit card!

    When I met Craig, he was driving a Corolla, too. His was a tealy green color. You?

    • Pop
      January 11, 2011 at 12:37 pm

      I think I’ve tried to block out that memory as much as I could, so details postHORROR are fuzzy.

      Mine was gray. I loved that car.

  15. January 10, 2011 at 3:59 pm

    Got to love these kinds of stories. Always better when it happens to you and not to me. πŸ˜‰

  16. January 10, 2011 at 4:46 pm

    Wow, your wife must really love you! She also must have been high on that carbonated water not to dump you that night… Congrats on keeping the girl. Your daughters will love to hear that story about their parents.

    Happy new year!

    • Pop
      January 11, 2011 at 12:50 pm

      That’s but one of the stories I’m sure their mother will be telling them.

  17. January 10, 2011 at 4:56 pm

    Men are always forever indebted to their wives! You in so many ways. You almost lost me at binary. My head started spinning and flashes of HS started playing. Luckily you pulled through with a classic story.

    • Pop
      January 13, 2011 at 10:08 am

      Just when I think I’m getting out of debt with the wife, I go ahead and do something that plunges me further into debt than I ever was. *sigh*

  18. January 10, 2011 at 5:35 pm

    That is pretty funny. I would have laughed and gladly paid the bill, as long as you were a decent guy, which apparent, you are!

    • Pop
      January 13, 2011 at 10:11 am

      My wife paid the bill but she certainly wasn’t laughing. And you know? I think you may just be right. That’s a positive way to look at my SNAFU – I had to have been a decent enough guy for her to foot the bill.

  19. January 10, 2011 at 5:45 pm

    My jackass husband made ME pay for dinner on the night he PROPOSED!!! He *claims* he did this to throw me off the scent of him proposing that night……he figured if I was paying, I wouldn’t think he could possibly give me a ring later that evening. Still married him though. And we’re still married now.

    • Pop
      January 13, 2011 at 10:16 am

      I did something similar – did some jackass thing to throw her off the scent of something sweet I was going to do later. I soon learned that doing something like eating something that leaves a terrible taste in your and then trying to wash it down with something later. Sure, the thing you drink to wash it down/chase the crap you ate will alleviate the nastiness temporarily, but the terrible tastes last longer. MUCH longer.

  20. January 10, 2011 at 5:53 pm

    She married you?! I didn’t see that coming.
    Dating snafus…. Falling asleep in his car and farting myself awake (he married me too).

    • Pop
      January 13, 2011 at 10:16 am

      I find that incredibly endearing, Jean. But maybe that’s just me.

  21. January 10, 2011 at 10:43 pm

    First. I have no idea what a binary joke is. So joke’s on me. Second. Your wife is incredible. You know this right?

    • Pop
      January 13, 2011 at 10:17 am

      Absolutely.

      And I’m glad you said joke’s on me, rather than thinking less of me.

  22. January 11, 2011 at 12:49 am

    Your wife is all kinds of awesome! I’m so glad you are (kinda) back…I’ve missed you!

    And love MommaKiss’ comment.

    • Pop
      January 13, 2011 at 10:18 am

      Thanks! It’s good to be (kinda) back! Hope to be fully back soon!

  23. January 11, 2011 at 12:47 pm

    I’d like to apologize to my husband in advance. The next few months are gonna be a real bitch for him. πŸ™‚

    • Pop
      January 13, 2011 at 10:18 am

      And he won’t be able to say anything about it.

      Good luck!

  24. January 16, 2011 at 8:39 pm

    Remember hearing this story before, but liked it just as much the second time around :). xoxo

  25. January 19, 2011 at 1:53 am

    Oh, my gosh. Where was the cc? Did you lose it? She is true class, to understand and be a good sport.

    How do I know this? Because I would’ve done the same thing.

    xo

  26. January 19, 2011 at 1:53 am

    and,,,,p.s. also???

    We missed your spam.

  1. February 7, 2011 at 3:24 pm
  2. March 28, 2011 at 11:48 am

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