Merciful Monday: 1.10.11
Huh. My last Merciful Monday post was on 10.11.10 and today is 1.10.11. I’m sure there’s a binary joke I could make in there somewhere but I don’t want 10. Sheesh. First post of this new year and I’ve already made a lame joke AND it was geeky to boot. I call this a win.
Anywho, I figured I’d start the year off by apologizing to my wife and amusing my readers. So here goes:
To my then-girlfriend: Have Mercy! Forget what De Beers tells you: a diamond isn’t forever; a woman’s memory is. Especially when it comes to their love interests.
It was 2002 and we had been dating for a few months. I saw an article in The Washington Post touting Citronelle’s lobster burgers. For those that are unfamiliar with the DC area, Citronlle is a well-reviewed, hoighty-toighty restaurant in Georgetown. Being poor college kids at the time, there’s no way we could’ve afforded a regular dinner there, but the lobster burger was supposed to be amazing and only $10! This served several purposes for me: 1) I get to say I took my gf out to Citronlle, 2) she gets to tell her friends that her bf took her to Citronelle, thereby me receiving the simultaneous admiration of her friends and the ire of their respective bfs, and 3) I only take a $30 hit to do so.
Even back in college, we cleaned up nicely. She looked exceptionally gorgeous that night. We got into my ’92 Corolla and we valet parked it, since it was the only option available at the restaurant. To say that was the crappiest car the valets parked that day would be like saying Christina Hendricks has big boobs: a huge (har har) understatement.
I confidently walked up to the hostess and said, “Pop – reservation for 2 at 7pm.” “Right this way, sir, ” she replied. She took us to our table and aside from Pearle Vision, I’ve never seen so many glasses in my life. Seriously. How plastered do people get at these pricey joints?!
The server comes to our table and asks us if we’d like anything to drink. “Just water, please,” I replied. “Still or (something) water?”, he asked. After a recent fine dining SNAFU in which we paid $10 for a bottle of carbonated water, I asked, “Which one is free?” At this point, I’m sure this song is going through your head (not really). After confirming our order of free water, the waiter took away ALL the glasses (cue sad trombone).
We then looked over the menus to find the lobster burgers and to our surprise, we couldn’t find them anywhere. We asked another server (apparently, the first server was just the drink guy) if they no longer serve the lobster burgers, and she told us that they are only served in the bar area. Whoops. Taking it all in stride, I told my gf that we could splurge, after all, I am a smooth operator or maybe even the most interesting man in the room. We settled on the $75/person 3-course dinners.
The other thing to note about the dinner was that there was a dedicated server who came out and cleaned off the breadcrumbs. Being a college kid, I was always impressed if I walked into a bar and it didn’t smell like urine, so you can imagine how impressed I was by the bread cleaner dude.
Anywho, the dinner was great and we had an awesome conversation.
The check comes and I briefly calculate how many books I’d have to sell back at the end of the semester to pay off the charge. I get my wallet out and HORROR!
And no, this wasn’t one of those cases when you’re hanging out with your friends and you’re faking like you forgot your wallet and ask for a spot.
I look coyly over at my gf and ask, “So uhhh…how good are you at washing dishes? Because we may have to wash a LOT tonight.”
Thankfully, she had her credit card and she picked up the check. The most interesting man in the room suddenly became the most single man in the room.
Actually, for some reason, my gf was able to look beyond this dating SNAFU, and today, we have two beautiful daughters.
Anywho, we walked out to get our car and YUP! You guessed it. I forgot cash for tipping the valet. Thankfully, she had cash. Otherwise, I would’ve had to scrounge up all the change from my ashtray.
And understandably, my wife hasn’t forgotten this. Even today, whenever we go out on a nice date, I’ll say, “Don’t worry – I have my credit card.”
To my readers: Have Mercy! I thoroughly enjoyed my hiblognation and am grateful for those that are still around. Here’s to another year of bl0gging (with plenty of food porn)!!!
So what about you? Do you have any dating SNAFU stories? What do you need to apologize for as you begin this new year?