Friday Flip-Offs, 11/7 Pop’s Edition
Lots going on in Pop’s home these days. D2’s teeth are starting to come in and she’s trying to roll over, which is initially exciting, but then you realize it’s no fun b/c she won’t be where you left her when you get back. D1’s nowhere near puberty (actually, she may not be that far off) but she’s already having massive mood swings. My wife and I are contemplating our future with buying/selling a home and contemplating homeschooling, and while exciting, it’s a lot to think and pray about. So you best believe I’ve got stuff to flip off. Let’s get to it.
To certain cops: FLIP OFF! I appreciate cops and all that they do but some cops need to be flipped off. Three times this week, I was stuck in heavy traffic. I then hear a siren from the distance and figure, “Ah, crap. It’s an accident.” So of course, the traffic jam gets worse as all the cars move out of the way so the cop can get through to the scene of the accident to perform their duties. Only thing is, there is no accident, and once the cop is past the traffic, the sirens turn off. *resisting the urge to make a doughnut joke*
To puberty: FLIP OFF! Seriously?! Girls are starting puberty at 7 or 8? 7 or 8 is when The Fresh Prince of Bel Air should pull up to the house; not when I need to deal with 24 cases of PMS per year. Also, I just realized that in about 10 years I will have 3 ladies PMSing at the same time in my home (women do cycle up, right?). Maybe I should look into a bomb shelter as an added feature for our next home?
To getting older: FLIP OFF! I’m still pretty young (emphasis on the pretty, oh so pretty) but I’m exhibiting signs of getting older.
- My calf cramped up while I was stretching before I got out of bed in the morning
- My metabolism is nowhere near what it used to be. Congratulations, Wifey! My love handles are here to stay!
- When I get together with friends, we talk about riveting things like mortgages and home improvements
- Tired is not how I feel; it’s who I am
- I most look forward to weekends where nothing is planned
But I can still hear up to 18kHz on the hearing test (though it isn’t as piercing as it used to be) and I’m not graying, so I guess I’m ok.
To Mike Shanahan: FLIP OFF! Seriously? Rex Grossman gives us the best chance to win?! Who’d you ask for that advice? Steve Spurrier?! And poor conditioning for 2 minutes? Aside from the first time, most men have enough stamina to last two minutes.
To location-based services: FLIP OFF! Maybe this ties in with me getting older, but I’m not a fan of Four Square, Facebook Places and other location-based services. Now a lot of businesses are beginning to offer deals exclusively through those services. That’s all well and good for those who don’t mind giving up certain aspects of their privacy for a free burrito, but I hope this doesn’t mean the end of printing out coupons that were meant for people signed up for an email club that I can mass-print through SlickDeals.
*whew* that feels better. What about you? What in your life deserves to be flipped off today?