Merciful Monday: 10.11.10
For the new visitors, Merciful Monday is a series in which I apologize and plead for mercy from things and people I have wronged to start the week off with a clean slate. And if there’s anything I’ve learned from nearly 6 years of marriage, it’s that apologizing early and often is a good thing. So here we go:
To vegetarians: Have Mercy! I’m hosting a BBQ this weekend for a ravenous pack of carnivores and will be posting all the glorious pictures on Monday. I’ll be smoking brisket, pork butt, and grilling my famous (to me) sweet & sour chicken and flank steak with chipotle-lime sauce. The only vegetables I plan on consuming are corn (in cornbread) and carrot (cake). So if the site of succulent animal flesh offends you, I apologize.
To my arteries and heart: Have Mercy! I’m giving you advanced warning: you’re going to have to work overtime this week. I know. I know. No one ever likes to work on weekends and no, I won’t be paying you time-and-a-half for your efforts, but I need you to work extra hard this weekend. And yes, I know. Life isn’t fair. Tongue gets to have all the foodgasms while you get to have palpitations. To help you out, I won’t look at pictures of things wrapped in bacon that make me hard – my arteries that is.
To the squirrel family living near my parents’ house: Have Mercy! I assure you, I was not under the influence of anything more than caffeine when the accident happened. I did everything in my power to avoid your son/daughter. He/she stopped in the middle of the road, staring at me. I positioned my car so that I would pass over him/her, but I guess he/she decided to move because I heard a *thump* followed by a slightly softer *thump*. My condolences on your terrible loss.
To my eyes: Have Mercy! You’ve been getting weaker and weaker as of late, especially since I stare at a computer all day at work. So I installed WorkRave on my computer, but I either skip over the breaks because I have blogs to read important work to do or I take a break by doing stuff on my iFriend.
What about you? What do you need forgiveness for?