Friday Flip-Offs, 10/1 Pop’s Edition
I am exhausted today. I didn’t originally plan on writing a blog post but this angered me to no end.
To my neighbor: FLIP OFF! This was what I tweeted at 2:46am!
By 2:50, we finally calmed both D1 and D2 down but the alarm was still going off. I decided to take matters into my own hands. I put on some clothes–yes, I sleep in just my baggy skorts boxer briefs. Aren’t you glad this blog is anonymous? Otherwise, the visual would be jarring. Anywho, I briefly contemplate doing very bad things to her car–which is incidentally parked right in front of D1’s room–but decide against it. I figured my dog poop morning breath would be punishment enough and I fully planned on drawing out all my words like “Hiiiiiiiiii neeeeeeeighboooooooooooooor. You’re alaaaaaaaaaaaaarm is gooooooing ooooooooooof.” I ring her doorbell like it’s a video game that requires button mashing, all the while hearing:
ENGK! ENGK! ENGK! ENGK!
WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW!
in the background, which made my button mashing increasingly forceful.
After a minute or so, mercifully the alarm stops. Since I didn’t hear a BEEP BEEP, I assume the car alarm has a snooze function – you know, like your alarm that just turns off after you try to ignore it for 10 minutes. But I hoped for the best.
This is what I tweeted at 3am:
Either our neighbors–yes, plural: both of their cars were parked there last night–hibernate at night or they are deaf to their own car alarm.
Seriously. What is the point of car alarms?! Does anyone even care? I feel like they’re the 20th century equivalent of the boy who cried wolf. It’s the 21st century now, there’s gotta be something better than that right?! I mean, Sprint’s phones come with better theft deterrant:
So the entire house woke up cranky and I have you to thank.
To breast cancer: FLIP OFF! Btw, where in the heck did October come from?! It came so quick (that’s what she said). Anywho, October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. A dear friend of mine is going through chemo right now and I know countless others are affected by this. If there’s anything Americans love, it’s fast cars, buffets, freedom, and breasts – in some order. So leave the boobies alone!
*whew* that feels better. What about you? What in your life deserves to be flipped off today?
And thanks again to Momma Kiss – the vajazzled purple dinosaur – for hosting this week!