Home > Amusings, Parenting > I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means

I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means

September 22, 2010 Leave a comment Go to comments

If you’ve been following this blog, you know that I love The Princess Bride and you know that one of my favorite lines is, “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” In yesterday’s post, I talked about things in my childhood that I wish they’d bring back and how I wish my daughters could enjoy some of the things I loved in my childhood, but I know that being a kid today is very different from when I was a kid. I’m also reluctantly coming to terms with the fact that every day, my coolness decreases exponentially, which is especially troubling since I had very little cool to begin with. How do I know? I used to know and use most words found on Urban Dictionary, but now, I not only don’t know most of the words and terms, I find myself saying, “Really?! Kids say that nowadays?” Seriously, what the heck is a Dougie and why do so many people want to teach it to me?

In short, I’m fastly becoming out of touch and pre-school/kindergarten is fastly approaching, and there may be words/terms/concepts from my childhood that don’t mean what I think they mean today. Here are some examples.

Show and tell

I used to love show and tell! Well, sort of. I loved it when I brought in the coolest toy. Back then, show and tell meant you bring something in and tell your classmates about it to practice being a show off public speaking. Today, show and tell can be sexting. This is a very serious subject, and something I am absolutely horrified about, so I’ll just say it’s something I’m educating myself on.

To combat potential sexting from my daughters, I’ll forgo giving them a phone and teaching them how to use smoke signals. That way, they can reach me when I’m needed and there’s no possibility of sexting. I mean how salacious can smoke signals be?

Milk and cookies

I loved snack and nap times in kindergarten. In fact, I think all employers should make them mandatory. My favorite snack was milk and cookies, which the teacher provided and all the kids enjoyed. And if you didn’t like the snack? Well, that never happened; we just ate what we were given.

Today? Kids have to bring their own snacks and they’re food snobs at such a young age. Note: For the soon-to-be or newb parents out there, not only will you feel like a beast of burden carrying around all those bags, you’ll also feel like a freakin grocery store carrying around all those snacks and drinks. Heck, you’d think you were preparing for a zombie apocalypse when in fact, you are just running an errand. A weekend getaway? You’ll feel like a Costco. When I was a kid (I just lost 5 coolness points for saying that and gained +2 Crotchety), we ate anything so long as it was edible, and even that wasn’t a requirement.

Not only that, but with all the food allergies, you have to be careful what snacks you provide for kids. Again, I know this is a serious topic for many parents but would you excuse me while I rant a bit? If your child is allergic to things and you’re worried what other parents are going to feed them, send them out with their own snacks, otherwise, don’t be upset when your kid comes home hungry because I didn’t have gluten-free treats. I didn’t even know what gluten was until a few years back.

Pop Fact: I first encountered the word gluten about 4 years ago. I was looking up the menu for a steakhouse and saw “Gluten-Free” next to some of the items. I seriously thought they misspelled glutton and thought, “Now who the heck goes to a steakhouse NOT to be a glutton?”

Go play some games with your friends

I now know that what my mom meant when she said this was, “You are annoying. Go bother another mother and give me some peace for an hour or two.” Growing up in the era of the Nintendo Entertainment System, playing some games with friends meant that we could play outdoor games or video games. And back then, we didn’t need no stinkin’ memory cards. We either had to sit our butts down for 3 straight hours to beat a game or write down passcodes on sheets of paper.

Today, kids don’t even have to go outside to play games with their friends. I’m not just talking about playing outdoor/physical games, but they don’t even need to go outside at all – they just have to log-on.

Go play outside

When my mom said to go play outside, there were tons of kids to play with and we’d all run around the neighborhood just being kids. Not so these days.

There are lots of kids in my neighborhood–as evidenced by the 5 minute wait when I get stuck behind a school bus when it stops to drop kids off–but I almost never see any of them playing around the neighborhood and certainly not unsupervised. In fact, when I see a group of kids walking around the neighborhood not doing anything in particular, I wonder what those hoodlums are up to (Crap! Just lost 5 more cool points and gained more Crotchety). Now playing outside often means you gotta load up the minivan, pickup the other kids, and take them to practice/games/some other organized activity. And don’t forget to pack lots of snacks and water.

So help me out parents: what words/terms/concepts no longer mean what I think they mean?

  1. September 22, 2010 at 11:46 am

    As long as you don’t interpret smoke signals for BBQ- that should be fine :-p

    Everyday after dinner, particularly in the summer, the neighborhood kids, including my bro and myself, would have bike races up and down the dirt road we lived on. The road is now paved. Boo.

    • Pop
      September 22, 2010 at 12:08 pm

      Curses. My plan has a flaw in it.

      And bet you raced without helmets, right?

      • September 22, 2010 at 1:06 pm

        Ya, didn’t get a helmet til I got a 10-speed bike. But before that, there were tons of scraped knees and elbows. In fact most of my scars are from bike falls.

        • Pop
          September 22, 2010 at 2:14 pm

          Reminds me of when I first learned how to ride a bike. My dad just took the training wheels off and said, “GO!” You learn really fast when it hurts like heck

  2. Veronica
    September 22, 2010 at 12:06 pm

    LOVE The Princess Bride! LOL on the smoke signals.

    • Pop
      September 22, 2010 at 12:09 pm

      It’s almost ridiculous how many times I’ve watched it.

  3. September 22, 2010 at 12:19 pm

    I’m still contemplating the idea of play dates. I tried scheduling one with my GF’s child but she was already booked. WTH? Remember when we’d just go outside to play? No scheduling needed.

    • Pop
      September 22, 2010 at 2:15 pm

      Playdates were so foreign to me. I wonder if there’ll be a kids match.com or eharmony to help you find the right playdate for your kid.

  4. September 22, 2010 at 12:25 pm

    I don’t let my kids play video games. Talk about crotchety. They are sure to be social outcasts. Add homeschooling to that, and they may as well walk around kicking their own asses to save everyone else the trouble.

    • Pop
      September 22, 2010 at 2:15 pm

      Plus it’ll teach them to take initiative.

  5. September 22, 2010 at 12:34 pm

    Hmm. I don’t think my kids are old enough yet for me to feel too socially inept. Yet. However, I realize I am becoming a curmudgeon. In my house? I am the fun-killer. And I hear my dad when I speak. Which is how I know I’m becoming a curmudgeon. *sigh*

    • Pop
      September 22, 2010 at 2:18 pm

      If it makes you feel any better, I love that word, curmudgeon – it sounds like the opposite of what it means.

  6. September 22, 2010 at 12:34 pm

    I remember having milk break in the afternoons. My kids get “Fiesta Friday”, but are only allowed to have diet sodas. And getting them to go outside to actually do something… please, it never happens. I find myself saying things like “back in my day”…

    • Pop
      September 22, 2010 at 2:18 pm

      You’re on the fast track to being a cat lady.

  7. September 22, 2010 at 1:09 pm

    Tater watches WAY too much TV…he needs to go play outside more. We were always outside when we were little. But when I send him out to play, he wants me to turn on the TV outside! Couch potato.

    • Pop
      September 22, 2010 at 2:29 pm

      Turn on the TV outside? Tater is innovative.

  8. TK
    September 22, 2010 at 1:20 pm

    I agree with everything you just said.
    Urban Dictionary is my friend and I’m not afraid to use it.
    I love Princess Bride. Especially The Pit of Despair. Don’t even think of trying to escape!

    • Pop
      September 22, 2010 at 2:32 pm

      UD is a parent’s best friend – we can fully understand what our kids are saying. And it should stop there. Trying to use slang as a parent is like someone trying to not look like a tourist while they’re wearing a fanny pack.

  9. September 22, 2010 at 2:04 pm

    I’m bored Mom.

    WTH?!? You have 200 channels on cable, plus on demand, and DVR. A 27-inch Mac in the office. A 16GB 3GS iPhone. Two malls within 5 miles to “hang out”. Not to mention a Wii and Plsystation 3.

    I had antenna fuzzy static TV, Atari, radio, and a stack of cards. We lived two hours from a mall. Puh-leeeeze!!

    Your glutton comment – freakin’ hilarious!!

    • Pop
      September 22, 2010 at 2:35 pm

      Seriously. My sister and I were ecstatic when one of the few channels we had was clear. Forget High Definition or Standard Definition, we were ok with plain definition.

  10. September 22, 2010 at 10:20 pm

    OMG, I still remember TV before remote controls came into play – having to stand up to change the channel. And no Cable TV. When we wanted to entertain ourselves we had to pop in the Betamax for Pinocchio or Mary Poppins. Now it’s DVD’s for High School Musical and equally annoying stuff.

    P.S. – When I was pregnant and we weren’t sure what we were having, I told my husband I wanted to name the kid Iñigo if we got a boy. My husband quickly vetoed it and said our kid would get laughed off the playground. WTH? I love that name! 😦

    • Pop
      September 23, 2010 at 9:37 am

      Betamax! Now that’s a blast from the past. My parents still have a VHS player and even a VHS tape rewinder that’s shaped like a car.

      Maybe your husband didn’t want to get killed by a man with six fingers?

  11. September 23, 2010 at 2:40 am

    The Princess Bride is simply the best movie ever made. And I’m not just saying that because I have six fingers on my right hand.

    Also, I grew up in the era of Atari. You “young” Nintendo folks don’t know how good you had it! 🙂

    • Pop
      September 23, 2010 at 9:39 am

      Six fingers on your right hand? I’ve been looking for you forever. Prepare to die.

      LOL. I was actually on the tail-end of the Atari phase but my parents couldn’t afford a video game system until much later.

  12. September 23, 2010 at 10:45 am

    Agreed! To all of the above! And I Love the Pop Facts and Crotch points.. hahaha

    • Pop
      September 23, 2010 at 10:48 am

      Crotch points! I like it. At this rate, I’m going to be one huge crotch.

  13. September 23, 2010 at 11:12 am

    I love the Princess Bride….anytime you can fit in a PB quote, it is a good day.

    I’m still not entirely sure what gluon is. Also I’m confused by the fact that all the sudden every third kid is allergic to it. What did all these millions of kids do before there was gluten-free? Clearly I’m allergy-suspicious. And I totally agree that if your kid has an allergy, bring your own food.

    I think the smoke signal idea is good…as long as the kids don’t have to take off any items of clothing to fan the flames. That could be bad.

    • Pop
      September 27, 2010 at 1:31 pm

      “as long as the kids don’t have to take off any items of clothing to fan the flames. That could be bad.”

      yet another hole in my plan. Hmmmm!

      And I agree on the allergy thing. Just seems to be a lot more of it out there.

  14. September 23, 2010 at 11:39 am

    Sexting is something that scares the bejesus out of me. My kid has a friend with a cell phone. HE IS FIVE. Swear to god, the first phone they get will have like 4 buttons. Call home, mom, dad, 911. That’s it. There’s so much different about this world and it’s sad. Very sad. I would play outside every single night until the street lights came on. We were latch key kids at 7 [brother was 5]. It’s insane how different my kid’s are experiencing life.

    • Pop
      September 27, 2010 at 1:33 pm

      Five?! D1 is going to be the lamest kid in kindergarten if all the other kids have phones b/c she sure as heck ain’t getting one.

  15. September 23, 2010 at 12:35 pm

    Let’s face it life used to be so much simpler and easier. I wanna go back.

    • Pop
      September 27, 2010 at 1:41 pm

      Me too. In fact, I may have a bowl of Frosted Flakes or Lucky Charms tomorrow to relive my childhood! Sugary cereals FTW!

  16. September 23, 2010 at 2:16 pm

    Hahah to the smoke signals!! Love it!!

    • Pop
      September 27, 2010 at 1:42 pm

      Thanks, Cori! But apparently, my plan does have some holes.

  17. September 23, 2010 at 3:07 pm

    This was great! I can totally relate. (stumbled you from Liz’s BlogFrog community)

    • Pop
      September 27, 2010 at 1:43 pm

      Thanks for stopping by. I’m still a bit confused about the whole stumble upon thing.

  18. KLZ
    September 23, 2010 at 3:32 pm

    I’m 100% a Costco. My husband requires snacks too. So at least that wasn’t new to me when we had kids.

    • Pop
      September 27, 2010 at 1:43 pm

      LOL. Well, my wife was the same way when she was pregnant. I could’ve used a luggage case for all the snacks and drinks she needed.

  19. September 23, 2010 at 3:42 pm

    Snacks are out of control! And after reading this I want to watch The Princess Bride tonight!

    • Pop
      September 27, 2010 at 1:44 pm

      Totally agree. But what sucks is the lack of water fountains these days.

  20. September 28, 2010 at 7:22 am

    I always think of the pressure a lot of this puts on the parents – that we have to entertain our kids 24/7. Wish they still went outdoors and roamed free!

    • Pop
      September 28, 2010 at 9:09 am

      Seriously. If we demand our chickens be free-range, why not our kids? 😛

  21. September 29, 2010 at 9:30 pm

    I’m seriously lagging in urban-dictionary-speak myself. My only saving grace is that “cool” still means “cool.” (P.S. My favorite Princess Bride line, “I’m not a witch, I’m your wife!” It is necessary for me to say that around here far too often.)

    • Pop
      September 30, 2010 at 1:10 pm

      I’m also glad that cool still means cool.

      Do you have to finish the rest of that quote: “But after what you just said, I’m not even sure I want to be that any more.”

  1. November 19, 2010 at 11:17 am

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