What’s Going On, Pop?
So what’s been going on with me lately, you ask? Wait…you didn’t ask? Well, I’ll tell you anyway because the Publish button is on my side of this here blog…wait, what are you doing? Don’t close the tab! I promise this update will be worth it or I will refund the $0.00 I charge for this blog. Promise.
Back to School Back to Blogging
I’ve joined Kludgy Mom’s Back to School Back to Blogging challenge. I’m the token male in school, so hopefully, I can use my male charm to copy some homework. I know that women’s cycles tend to match up when they’re together for a while, but I wonder what happens for the lone man in that group? Aside from being yelled at by dozens of women PMSing all at the same time. So subscribe and follow along as I live the dream of being the only male at an all girl’s school – and I don’t even have to crossdress. I think.
Being a studious stud–yes, I used the stud finder on myself and yes, it did beep. Loudly–it feels a bit odd to be behind for this week’s assignment. Thankfully, my mom won’t be checking my grades for this school, so I won’t get a beating for getting an A-.
Breastmilk: It Does A Body Good
Took D2 in for her 2month checkup on Monday and she weighed in at 15lb5oz, and was 24.5″ long. For weight she was way off the chart and for length, she was off the chart. She’s on a 100% breastmilk diet so I guess mother’s milk really is best. Perhaps I could do a new dieting book. While most American’s are overweight, there are those we all hate who can’t gain weight if their lives depended on it. For these overlooked Americans, I give you the Mother’s Milk Diet. All you have to do is drink nothing but breastmilk all day, poop in a diaper, and sleep. Any publishers out there want to pick this up? I could be a hundredaire, maybe even a thousandaire!
Goodbye, Summer ’10
Summer ’10 and I said our goodbyes yesterday. I had pizza, Thrasher’s fries (why don’t they offer ketchup? I don’t care if using only malt vinegar is the way you’re supposed to eat it. Give me some tomatoes laced with HFCS!), funnel cake, Kohr Bros. custard (vanilla + orange = creamsicle. Mmmm!), and caramel popcorn – all within a span of 25 minutes. Good thing I don’t count calories because I can’t count that high.
I also had Sonic on the way home. Burger, tots, and strawberry limeade. Is there a better way to get your recommended 3000 calories in one meal? What’s that you say? They recommend 2000? Oh come on now. Have you seen Americans lately? What’s the point of putting a guideline when you know no one’s going to adhere to it? This seems akin to people who aren’t home for trick-or-treaters who put a bowl of candy out with a sign: “Please Take One.” What’s the point? That bowl’s going to be empty after the first kid. So what’s the point of 2000 recommended calories when we get that in one of our milkshakes?
As if that weren’t enough, I had a food baby at the Waterfront Buffet in Atlantic City less than 24 hours before that. The father is doing fine and the baby is now the property of Atlantic City’s public works sewage system.
I normally try to eat healthy, but I eat like I work for the Food Network when I’m on vacation. And this is why it’s good that I don’t have enough money and vacation time to take more vacations: I’d put the die in diabetes. Seriously.
Is such a blast. D1 says the funniest things and I could get lost in D2’s rolls all day. Speaking of, I could also spend the entire day watching D2 sleep and I’d be happy. She makes the cutest sounds and I love when she laughs or smiles. When she does, I often wonder what she’s dreaming about. Seeing as how her happy place is when she’s feeding, I assume she’s dreaming about breasts. In all likelihood, if you’re a creeper and watched me sleep, you could probably assume the same about me when I smile in my sleep.
D2’s not sleeping through the night yet, but her feedings are getting further and further apart, so we’re getting close.
Was it just me or was it GOOD to have foosball back on TV? And no, the preseason doesn’t count. And for the Cowboys fans hatin on the Skins, may I kindly remind you that though the Cowboys have had a better regular season record since 1999 (90-86 to 80-96), we have more playoff wins (Skins: 99, 05, Cowboys: 09).
Hail to the Redskins!
P.S. Please stop Arian Foster this Sunday but not too much because a close friend has him on his fantasy team.
So what about you? What’s going on with you these days?