Home > Friday Flip-offs > Friday Flip-Offs, 9/3 Pop’s Edition

Friday Flip-Offs, 9/3 Pop’s Edition

September 3, 2010 Leave a comment Go to comments

It’s hard to be upset on the verge of a 3-day weekend, but for you, my dear readers, I’ll try my best. Here are my flips for this week. And if you’re interested in linking up, head on over to Momma Kiss, who is hostessing this week for Gigi.

To September: FLIP OFF! How dare you come so soon? (that’s what she said) Where in the heck did August go?! I had all these things I wanted to do before the end of summer and next thing I know, it’s already labor day weekend!

To zits: FLIP OFF! Do I look like a pubescent boy to you? Ok, sure, I act and think like one sometimes, but I thought I was way past the age where I get the lot of youse! Especially you, painful-tip-of-the-nose zit and I’m looking right at you too, excruciating-between-my-nose-and-cheek zit, and don’t think I forgot about you, so-huge-on-my-forehead-people-think-you’re-a-bindi zit.

To the gas station manager: FLIP OFF! You run the gas station that is most convenient for me to visit and for the past few months, this cycle has repeated itself.

  1. I see that gas prices are dropping and your prices are the lowest in town.
  2. I stop by a day or two later and gas prices have gone up 3 or 4 cents. I figure gas prices are going back up and fill up.
  3. After filling up, I drive by other gas stations, and their prices are now significantly lower than yours.
  4. The next day, I drive by your station and gas prices are back down 3 or 4 cents. I get angry and vow to beat the system the next time.
  5. The next week, I see that gas prices have dropped again, so this time, I stop in and make sure I get a fill up at these low, low prices.
  6. The next morning, I drive by your station and see that gas prices have dropped even further.
  7. As my tank nears empty, gas prices are going back up. I wait, and wait and wait, but the prices aren’t going down.
  8. My gas light comes on so I cave and buy gas at a pretty high price.
  9. The next day, I drove by and your price is down to Step. 1 levels and the cycle repeats itself.

ARGH!

To mutant ninja mosquitoes: FLIP OFF! That’s right. I’m flippin you off again. This week, I thought I gained the upper hand when I got a double kill with one clap of my hands. Oh, that was so satisfying. And then I get two bites just above my collar bone, which are insanely itchy. I tried not to itch them, but these were worse than usual. As a result, my coworkers all thought I had a hickey and if I had a nickel for every time someone said, “Had fun last night, huh?” this week, I’d have $0.65. Well played, mutant ninja mosquitoes. Well played.

To the new Hanes boxer briefs: FLIP OFF! I’m not sure if you changed materials, design, or the country they are made in, but these new boxer briefs just aren’t cutting it. I used to be able to wear a pair for several years before I got holes in them, the crotch wore down (don’t pretend it hasn’t happened to you), or they got baggy and looked like skorts, but now?! I bought a pair a month ago and they’re already like a pair of boxers. I went running the other day and felt as self-conscious as a woman running sans bra. I felt like I was riding a roller coaster without the safety harness. The only thing that should be flopping and jiggling around during a run is my fat.

To preseason football: FLIP OFF! You’re like lite ranch – you look like the real thing, you smell like the real thing, but you’re nowhere near as satisfying as the real thing. Thankfully, you’re done so all the optimism we Redskins fans had is also done the real games can begin.

To Tuesday, 9/7: FLIP OFF! I can already tell I’m not going to like you.

*whew* that feels better. What about you? What in your life deserves to be flipped off today?

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  1. Veronica
    September 3, 2010 at 11:02 am

    Pop, if you ever lose your job, you could be a comedian or a writer. It’s nice to have options, eh? LOLOLOLOLOL on the boxer briefs! Now I know how it feels to be on the recieving end of TMI from the opposite sex (I do this often to men)–but I loved it! Maybe I need to work on my delivery or something so men don’t freak out every time I mention my period. 😉

    • Pop
      September 3, 2010 at 1:27 pm

      There’s really no good way to mention your period. 😛

  2. September 3, 2010 at 11:02 am

    Man, I love these so much! I can have the crappiest week of a lifetime and these still make me smile!!!!

    • Pop
      September 3, 2010 at 1:42 pm

      Thanks, LD! Sorry you had such a crappy week. But long weekends and adult beverages are a fantastic way to recuperate!

  3. September 3, 2010 at 11:18 am

    Tuesday 9/7 is gonna be rough for me but not sure if its the same reason…The boxer briefs? While they may wear out-HOT! My fave! Hey, I’m new here, can I say that?

    I flipped off August, you’re already flippin off September. October better show the hell up.

    • Pop
      September 3, 2010 at 1:45 pm

      Why aren’t you looking forward to 9/7? I’m not b/c the day after a long weekend is never fun.

      You can say whatever you want as long as you follow it with an emoticon. For example,

      “Hey Pop. You’re an idiot and your blog sucks! :-)”

      • September 3, 2010 at 4:40 pm

        9/7 is my first experience with kindy. My first baby is going. That sucks ass 😦

  4. September 3, 2010 at 11:33 am

    A BIG flip off to my zits as well- they too forgot the memo when I left my teens quite a few years ago. And Amen to the gas station games!!

    • Pop
      September 3, 2010 at 1:45 pm

      Seriously. I thought I left zits and Stridex pads a long, long time ago!

  5. September 3, 2010 at 1:23 pm

    Ho Hum. Yes, I say Flip-Off to you as well, September. And so I don’t forget, Flip-Off to December, too. Yeah, I see you peeking around the corner just waiting to show your face.

    • Pop
      September 3, 2010 at 1:47 pm

      December and Christmas are already creeping into stores. Saw a Christmas display at Target last week.

  6. September 3, 2010 at 1:59 pm

    Man, for entering a 3 day weekend you managed to find plenty of stuff to flip off! So, when your boxer briefs get loose are you a Soggy Bottom Boy?

    • Pop
      September 3, 2010 at 2:07 pm

      haha. Of course!

  7. September 3, 2010 at 2:12 pm

    AWESOME. Thank you Mommakiss for sending me this way!
    Yeah, so not ready to say buhbye to summer. And w/ya on the Hanes. They aren’t what they used to be. The hubs has a few pair of skorts waiting for me to toss.

    • Pop
      September 3, 2010 at 2:18 pm

      I’m not sure what it is, but I can’t bring myself to toss them. And I would probably be upset if my wife tossed ’em too.

  8. September 3, 2010 at 3:15 pm

    I thought my husband was the only one that hung onto his undewear for years! Love the analogy of it being like a woman jogging sans bra!

    Hooray pre-season football is over – our Chicago Bears are going to suck ass this year anyway though!

    Lovie Smith has to be the worst coach in football. Do you watch Hard Knocks on HBO? Love it! Rex Ryan cracks me up with all his swearing!

    • Pop
      September 7, 2010 at 12:54 pm

      Rex Ryan is awesome. And someone should wake Lovie Smith up during football games.

  9. September 3, 2010 at 6:30 pm

    I am SO with you on pre-season football! I’m looking forward to next Thursday for sure 🙂

    “Well played” is one of my favorite sayings…

    And I’d like to flip off September as well!

    • Pop
      September 7, 2010 at 12:54 pm

      I too love saying, “Well played,” BFF!

  10. September 4, 2010 at 6:18 pm

    I’m with you on the pre-season football thing as well. I had EVERY intention of watching my beloved Cowboys on Thursday. I turned it on and didn’t watch.a.single.play. It’s not the same!

    However, I am simply so HAPPY that September is here!

    • Pop
      September 7, 2010 at 12:56 pm

      Cowboys fan, huh? Guess we’ll be exchanging comments on the 13th! ;-P Though I’m reasonably sure you’ll be dropping the comment.

  11. September 5, 2010 at 12:34 am

    Normally, I might secretly think the boxer briefs bit was a bit TMI… but since I buy all the clothes in our house, I have stashed that tip away in my mental rolodex. Along with some other imagery. Thanks for the tips… and the laughs!

    • Pop
      September 7, 2010 at 1:00 pm

      I’m sure you don’t mind envisioning Booyah’s poppa’s boys bouncing all over the place ;-P

  12. September 5, 2010 at 11:30 pm

    I love that you threw in a “that’s what she said”. It really brightened my night!

    • Pop
      September 7, 2010 at 1:00 pm

      “It really brightened my night!”

      That’s what she said…uhhhh….

  13. September 7, 2010 at 4:00 am

    Oh those damn zits!!! Seriously, will they ever go away?

    It’s rough times Pop & Hanes just got smarter. Lower quality product=faster wear & tear=increase frequency in purchasing product=increase revenue for Hanes.

    • Pop
      September 7, 2010 at 1:00 pm

      Forget that. I’ll continue wearing my crotchless, skorts, thank you very much.

  1. September 3, 2010 at 7:13 pm
  2. October 1, 2010 at 9:26 am
  3. February 7, 2011 at 3:24 pm
  4. August 24, 2011 at 10:22 am

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