Home > Friday Flip-offs > Friday Flip-Offs, 8/13 Pop’s Edition

Friday Flip-Offs, 8/13 Pop’s Edition

This is my 2nd week joining in on Friday Flip-Offs (here’s the first in case you missed it), the love child of Gigi over at Kludgy Mom and a lot of coffee. So without further ado, here are Pop’s Flip-Offs.

To that driver on the parkway the other night: FLIP OFF! Everyone has rubbernecked at some point in their lives but you, you’re something else! There was a pretty bad accident and we were squeezing by to the right. I was right behind you and naturally you begin to slow down as we get near the accident scene. But then you slowed to a stop. “Oh no! What happened,” I thought. That initial concern turned into anger as it looked like you were reaching down for something…Oh no you Di’n’t!!! You took out your phone and you took a picture! Oh no you Di’n’t! And then you slowly drove by the accident as I presume you were tweeting or MMSing the picture. Wow. The only way this could’ve been any more egregious is if you picked your nose and were shaving your legs as you were tweeting the pic.

To the DMV weather: FLIP OFF! As if record heat and humidity wasn’t enough, we get an earthquake and two massive storms. And we haven’t even gotten through hurricane season yet. Pat Robertson really doesn’t need any more examples to cite how God is punishing us. Really.

To that guy at my gym: FLIP OFF! You are quite possibly the most diesel man I’ve ever seen in person. And yet, you moan in a fairly high-pitched voice when you lift as if the weight machines were pleasuring you. It’s really, really disturbing. So disturbing that if you look around, everyone stops lifting when you do because they can’t concentrate. I’d say something, but then you’d probably crush my head in between your pectorals or worse, your equine buttcheeks. *whew* thank goodness this blog is anonymous.

To the bottled water companies: FLIP OFF! Not only are you encouraging insane amounts of waste–3 billion pounds worth–for essentially tap water, but now you’re marketing bottled water with fluoride and charging a lot of money for it.

To mutant ninja mosquitoes: FLIP OFF! And I will continue to flip you off until you all die a cold, brutal death this winter. At one point, it looked like I had chicken pox on my legs and while scratching around the bites won’t result in scabs later, it’s so not satisfying.

To preseason football: FLIP OFF! Sure, it looks like the real thing but it’s like going to a concert only to realize the band plays Rock Band instruments. Give us the real stuff!

*whew* that feels better. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to grab two beers and jump!

What about you? Grab two beers, flip some stuff off, and jump!

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  1. August 13, 2010 at 10:07 am

    So, I’ve seen your name around twitter and love that you are joining in on the flips (I missed you the first time)! I CANNOT BELIEVE the idiot taking a picture of the accident! Oh my goodness! Some people have some real nerve!!! And I love the one about preseason football…amen! And the mosquitos! Right there too. I had so many a few weeks ago I seriously looked like I had some horrible disease on my legs. Thank goodness those are gone!!! Ok, and the guy at the gym one! Too funny! Hope you keep joining! Have a great weekend!

    • Pop
      August 13, 2010 at 11:48 am

      Thanks for stopping by, Tayarra! I’ll definitely keep joining – it’s a lot of fun!

  2. August 13, 2010 at 10:16 am

    Yay! Another Friday Flip Offs to follow. I’m such a sickie, I love following these.

    We all have our issues, I feel like I’m eavesdropping between two ppl when I read these. Just love them.

  3. August 13, 2010 at 10:17 am

    P.S> Also nice to see a glimpse into a samoan’s mind..

    • Pop
      August 13, 2010 at 11:49 am

      They are a lot of fun to read! Gigi is Gigenius!

  4. August 13, 2010 at 10:23 am

    the dude at the gym is cracking me up. His equine buttcheeks? ROFL. Those dudes are always a little bit “off.”

    I am with you on the mosquitoes too…they love my kids and I. We always look like we have leprosy!!!!

    • Pop
      August 13, 2010 at 11:55 am

      I’m not sure if it’s all the BBQ or the BBQ sauce I eat–or both–but mosquitoes LOVE me.

  5. August 13, 2010 at 10:47 am

    Fracking mosquitos! Can’t we just get rid of them? How important can they be in the food chain?

    • Pop
      August 13, 2010 at 11:55 am

      Trust me, PP. They leave me perpetually peeved!

  6. August 13, 2010 at 10:51 am

    You make me miss the DC metro area. All things that ticked me off about living there I seem to miss in this faux-city I live in now.

    • Pop
      August 13, 2010 at 11:59 am

      Yeah. The horse buggies wouldn’t work too well here. And I know I complain now (I mean what person in DC doesn’t complain about the weather?) but I know I’m going to miss it if we ever move away.

  7. August 13, 2010 at 11:00 am

    Hahaha! You crack me up.

  8. August 13, 2010 at 11:04 am

    Eew to the guy at the gym. I have some nasty ones at mine too. And I second the mammoth mosquitoes. Great flips.

    • Pop
      August 13, 2010 at 12:00 pm

      The gym is a scary, scary place. With large, strange men…and women.

  9. August 13, 2010 at 11:47 am

    I am thinking about building a boat just in case another storm comes through. We have been warned.

    • Pop
      August 13, 2010 at 12:00 pm

      Awesome! Can Mini Kamp row yet?

  10. August 13, 2010 at 12:36 pm

    Oh No He Di’nt!

    Don’t you just love the flip offs! lol! Good ones!

  11. Tu-Van
    August 13, 2010 at 12:43 pm

    Amen to the mosquitos. I haven’t been able to wear shorts/skirts for a week with the connect-a-dot constellations on my legs…..

  12. August 13, 2010 at 1:56 pm

    Flippin mosquitos! I had a bit on the top of my foot last week and all I wanted to do the WHOLE weekend was sit on the couch and scratch it!

  13. August 13, 2010 at 1:59 pm

    Ha! ( I can’t do “lol”, sorry, but I don’t actually LOL, I just haha.)

    Just got your comment.

    Me and my secret Samoan spammer..xoxoxoxo

  14. Veronica
    August 13, 2010 at 8:15 pm

    LOL–it took me a second to figure out the “grab two beers and jump” thing but I finally connected the dots to the guy who quit his airflight attendant job in such a dramatic way! I heard about it on the radio and had a chuckle. LOLOLOL–you have such a way with words, Pop. I don’t know what your job is but I bet you could moonlight with a witty column in a magazine or paper. I was rolling when I read your last comment about the rubbernecker only being more egrigious if he were shaving and picking his nose while sending the pic and at the guy making crazy pleasure noises while lifting. You crack me uuuuuuuuuuup!

  15. August 13, 2010 at 10:19 pm

    Stopping by from Kludgy Mom’s.

    Oh, I so can’t stand those guys at the gym. They drive me nuts. Many of them also sound as if they might poo themselves during the lift…*sigh*

    Ah, storms & earthquakes. Yeah, they’ve been hosing my sleep lately. Altho at least I’ve not been in the group of “no power for 3 days.” My lack of sleep sucks, but at least it’s an air conditioned lack of sleep… 🙂

  16. August 14, 2010 at 8:05 am

    Hey…I left you a little something on my blog. It’s not an award. Come check it out!

    • Pop
      August 17, 2010 at 10:34 am

      I’m still horribly upset your wine sponsors were all out.

  17. August 14, 2010 at 9:27 am

    He took a picture of the accident? Wow.

    Love the “two beers and jump” reference. That story is one of the greatest of all time!

    • Pop
      August 17, 2010 at 10:37 am

      It was a hilarious story! Though now, every time I hear, “the greatest of all time,” I think of Kanye.

  18. August 14, 2010 at 11:06 am

    I’m stalking you now. You can blame Gigi!!! Just read your flip off. I was laughing silently to myself bc one of the kids are still sleeping. The gym guy was causing my eyes to tear bc i had to hold in my laugh. Is there one of these in every gym?

    • Pop
      August 17, 2010 at 10:38 am

      In my experiences, there’s at least one, but this was by far the most disturbing.

  19. August 14, 2010 at 2:28 pm

    Haha! Visiting from Gigi’s blog, and thoroughly enjoyed your flip offs! Equine butt cheeks… priceless!

  20. August 14, 2010 at 2:46 pm

    Found you through the secret stalker.

    I bet that that dude squeals like that because of all the roids running through his system. Maybe it hurts his back acne?

    Great to see another man/dad blogger out there. I may have to make a return trip.

    • Pop
      August 17, 2010 at 11:32 am

      lol. That is true.

  21. August 14, 2010 at 4:05 pm

    “equine buttcheeks” now that is quite possibly the best phrase I have ever heard! And yeah, I got a guy like that at my gym too…

  22. August 14, 2010 at 10:34 pm

    I think I would’ve rammed that guy taking a picture of the accident. Rubbernecking drives me insane!
    I’m with you on the gym guy too. How disturbing! Yet somehow intriguing…

  23. August 15, 2010 at 3:24 am

    GREAT flips!! I shared the “Preseason Football: Sure, it looks like the real thing but it’s like going to a concert only to realize the band plays Rock Band instruments.” with the husband and he laughed so hard! He completely agreed and was like “Man, I need to read THIS guys blog!”

    Found you through Kludgy Mom – will be back for more reading 🙂

    Happy weekend!
    Lindsay

  24. August 15, 2010 at 3:44 am

    Living in San Diego and having experienced a 7.2 earthquake on Easter day 2010 and many more smaller ones on a regular basis, I was shocked to hear that the earth shook on the East Coast just a few weeks ago. Pretty scary…

    I can’t believe you’re not buying into the super power fluoride bottled water! Looks like someone needs to refine their marketing message so you understand how much your kids really need that water, and you’re a terrible parent if you don’t stock up!

  25. August 15, 2010 at 8:42 pm

    This was totally funny. Thanks for the laugh. I am subscribing. Oh, yeah we have huge mosquitoes here as well. Double flip off to these guys…Lol

  26. August 16, 2010 at 1:55 am

    Your Pat Robertson reference really crack me up LMAO! Here’s to a better week for ya!

  27. August 16, 2010 at 11:07 am

    I’m really getting into this flip-off thing, and yours just cracked me up. Over here from Kludgy mom – she’s so right about you. Refreshing to read a non-mom blog. I’ll definitely be back.

  28. August 16, 2010 at 4:55 pm

    That guy at your gym must also work out at my gym, but he isn’t a muscle head at all – just trying to act like one! I look at him doing his weight routine with what looks like 10 pound dumbbells, and I am like “do you really need to make all that noise for 10 fucking pounds??!!”

    Hope you had a good weekend Pop!

    • Pop
      August 17, 2010 at 11:41 am

      LOL! And I bet he flexed in your direction afterward.

  1. September 28, 2010 at 10:40 am
  2. August 24, 2011 at 10:22 am

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